Communication Trainer T-Shirts

"And finally, I'd like to take any questions from the floor."

How it feels to be in a company with poor communication.

"Remember the golden rule: more buzzwords, less real words."

"On a more positive note the guidance we’ve published on the services we can’t provide is published in 37 different languages."

Couples' therapy

"What's going on Jen? Why didn't you respond to my kissing emoji?"

"It's a new target to target a time to reduce targets so that we'll be less target driven!"

Teamwork

"Everything you say (or don't say) matters. Choose your words and intentions carefully."

Ruddy bloggers!

'Now that we've learned to talk, maybe we should establish some speech codes.'

Lies/Damned Lies/Social Media

"How to talk to people" "Make them rue the day"

"So, what you're telling me is: I have unusually high negatives for a third-year husband..."

"Harold, you've changed."

'Stop emailing me, I am standing right here.'

"Oh! It's you! I was expecting the machine."

WHO checklist

'Hi! I'm on the tree.'

'You're good with people. Just tell him to go fuck himself.'

Talk shows are great. Listen shows are even better.

'I can't read their smoke signal. It's encrypted.'

'My father is very hard to communicate with ? he only knows nouns and interjections.'

'Come on, Walter, you're wasting out time! Stop using complete sentences!'

"In response to your request for better communications, I'm going to increase my lengthy explanation by 50%."

Nothing to say! Wouldn't wanna hear about it anyway!

'So you still can't get a sound engineer then?'

"Oh...Hi Bob, listen buddy, I'm in a meeting right now, I'll Caw you back."

'What's the concept? I'm not sure what you're trying to say, Ms. Harris.'

"I'm bilingual. I can talk to parents and step parents."

"There! Now we're getting somewhere."

"To be clear you are willing to labor under misconceptions?"

"I'm a great ... umm... like ... umm... like... umm ... communicator."

"Let me know when you get tired of berries. We'll work on your people skills."

"There will be a Q&A...but in this era of Trump I will be insulting anyone whose questions I don't like."