Meat-loving Salad Eater Gifts

"The salad should be delicious. We ordered it with lots of extra bacon bits."

"I'd like the garden salad with the blue cheese dressing, and my mother would like me married by age thirty."

'Steak Ted?'

'Don't order the Super Duper Jumbo Special.'

'Like death by salad.'

"Rump roast?"

'On the contrary... I'm too tough for the steak!'

'We'll never be able to eat it all before it spoils -- how about a rabbit or something instead?'

The Coffee Shop Vats of New Jersey

"The most I'll splurge on my diet is on a boneless, skinless carrot."

Important Food Groups

"Mommy's going to teach you how to make a hamburger."

"We have; pulled pork, enticed chicken, persuaded lamb, bullied beef, cajoled Turkey..."

"I'll have the barbecued half-pounder, with all the ramifications."

6,000 BC: Neolithic Barbecue

"Waiter, there's a hare in my salad!"

Butcher's shop has 'Cuts of salami' sign: End, Middle, Other End.

'I realize it's not on the menu but I'm on a diet and I'd like an air fern salad.'

Cow of BEEF

'Thank you waiter - my wife's the rabbit.'

'Diet considerations.'

"It's been 10 years Martha, why are we still eating quinoa?"

"What do you have that won't kill me?"

"May I offer you a side of life insurance?"

A butcher announcing he will kill his own meat

"I had a Caesar salad for lunch, but that was two days ago."

Would you mind putting the barbecue out?

"I'll see your Sirloin and raise you a New York Strip."

Platter confusion.

"If He didn't want us to eat it, why'd He wrap the whole thing in bacon?"

"Oh No!!!...Cap'n...Iceberg...Dead ahead!!"

*=Hotdog

"I assume you're on the paleo diet."