Meaty Salad Lover Gifts

"The salad should be delicious. We ordered it with lots of extra bacon bits."

"I'd like the garden salad with the blue cheese dressing, and my mother would like me married by age thirty."

Build Your Own Portfolio

'Oh man I've got a splitting headache.'

'Like death by salad.'

'The dietician told him to increase his roughage!'

"First Lady Lettuce goes missing, then Colonel Crouton followed by Reginald Radish... Great Caesar's Ghost! Someone is making a salad!"

"The most I'll splurge on my diet is on a boneless, skinless carrot."

"Tell them we only have romaine!"

The Coffee Shop Vats of New Jersey

"Waiter, there's a hare in my salad!"

'I realize it's not on the menu but I'm on a diet and I'd like an air fern salad.'

"It's been 10 years Martha, why are we still eating quinoa?"

'Thank you waiter - my wife's the rabbit.'

'Diet considerations.'

"I feel like I'm cosplaying as a salad bar."

"I had a Caesar salad for lunch, but that was two days ago."

"What!?! I like a nice salad every now and then, too. What of it?"

Chef picking salad leaves from a hanging basket outside his restaurant.

"More croutons, sir?"

Cinema with a salad bar in its lobby.

"Some protein with my salad? Sure, put a 24 ounce Ribeye in it."

"Oh No!!!...Cap'n...Iceberg...Dead ahead!!"

"Waiter, can you find out if this hair in my arugula salad is locally harvested?"

Vegetarian Restaurant: Choose Your Own Cabbage

'I didn't know it was a one-trip salad bar!'

All-You-Should-Eat Buffet

'I found this bag of salad hidden in the locker room - who's is it?'

Ranch Dressing

Free salad bar.

"Tell me, what is it you plan to do with your one wild and precious day when you're ripe and not yet mealy?"

"Good morning, Mother! We made you a desk salad."

The famous Walled-off salad.

'If a tomato is a fruit, why don't you get it in fruit salad?'

"Might I recommend one of our salads? They come with three of your companion's fries."