Meaty Salad Lover Gifts

"The salad should be delicious. We ordered it with lots of extra bacon bits."

"I'd like the garden salad with the blue cheese dressing, and my mother would like me married by age thirty."

Build Your Own Portfolio

'Oh man I've got a splitting headache.'

'The dietician told him to increase his roughage!'

'Like death by salad.'

"First Lady Lettuce goes missing, then Colonel Crouton followed by Reginald Radish... Great Caesar's Ghost! Someone is making a salad!"

"The most I'll splurge on my diet is on a boneless, skinless carrot."

The Coffee Shop Vats of New Jersey

"Tell them we only have romaine!"

"Waiter, there's a hare in my salad!"

'I realize it's not on the menu but I'm on a diet and I'd like an air fern salad.'

"What!?! I like a nice salad every now and then, too. What of it?"

'Thank you waiter - my wife's the rabbit.'

"I had a Caesar salad for lunch, but that was two days ago."

"I feel like I'm cosplaying as a salad bar."

"It's been 10 years Martha, why are we still eating quinoa?"

'Diet considerations.'

Chef picking salad leaves from a hanging basket outside his restaurant.

Cinema with a salad bar in its lobby.

Vegetarian Restaurant: Choose Your Own Cabbage

"More croutons, sir?"

"Waiter, can you find out if this hair in my arugula salad is locally harvested?"

"Oh No!!!...Cap'n...Iceberg...Dead ahead!!"

How do I love thee? Let me count the ways … Open Mike Night Presents Sadie Cohen. I love thee to the depth and breadth and height my ladle can reach … When feeling hungry for the crunch of crouton and ideal lettuce. I love thee to the level of every day's most quiet need ... by cheesy bread and chicken wing. I love thee freely, as men strive for right. I eat of thee freely, and then, at four, 'tis goodnight. O Sizzler salad bar, how do I love thee? I'm hungry.

"Some protein with my salad? Sure, put a 24 ounce Ribeye in it."

'I didn't know it was a one-trip salad bar!'

All-You-Should-Eat Buffet

'I found this bag of salad hidden in the locker room - who's is it?'

"Good morning, Mother! We made you a desk salad."

The famous Walled-off salad.

Free salad bar.

Ranch Dressing

"I'll just have a small salad. . . say 400 pounds of fresh river vegetation."

"Might I recommend one of our salads? They come with three of your companion's fries."