Meat-loving Salad Eater T-Shirts

"The salad should be delicious. We ordered it with lots of extra bacon bits."

"I'd like the garden salad with the blue cheese dressing, and my mother would like me married by age thirty."

'Steak Ted?'

'Like death by salad.'

'Don't order the Super Duper Jumbo Special.'

'On the contrary... I'm too tough for the steak!'

"Rump roast?"

"Mommy's going to teach you how to make a hamburger."

"The most I'll splurge on my diet is on a boneless, skinless carrot."

Important Food Groups

"It's good to know she was butchered for a noble cause."

'We'll never be able to eat it all before it spoils -- how about a rabbit or something instead?'

The Coffee Shop Vats of New Jersey

6,000 BC: Neolithic Barbecue

"We have; pulled pork, enticed chicken, persuaded lamb, bullied beef, cajoled Turkey..."

"I'll have the barbecued half-pounder, with all the ramifications."

"Waiter, there's a hare in my salad!"

'I realize it's not on the menu but I'm on a diet and I'd like an air fern salad.'

Cow of BEEF

Butcher's shop has 'Cuts of salami' sign: End, Middle, Other End.

"It's been 10 years Martha, why are we still eating quinoa?"

"What do you have that won't kill me?"

A butcher announcing he will kill his own meat

'Thank you waiter - my wife's the rabbit.'

Platter confusion.

"I'll see your Sirloin and raise you a New York Strip."

'Diet considerations.'

"I had a Caesar salad for lunch, but that was two days ago."

Would you mind putting the barbecue out?

"May I offer you a side of life insurance?"

"If He didn't want us to eat it, why'd He wrap the whole thing in bacon?"

"Hmmm... what would Scooby Doo?"

"More croutons, sir?"

Cinema with a salad bar in its lobby.

'A lovely day, a good meal, and, thank heaven, no guilt.'