Meaning-of-life Mocker Gifts

The Nihilist Deli.

'I'm an extremely general practitioner.'

"The beatings will continue until the morale improves!"

'Are you sure it's non-drowsy? I cannot afford to oversleep...'

'Please excuse my nurse -- this is her first day on the job.'

"As far as I can tell, meditation is just worrying minus the content."

'How much is that yuppy in the window?'

Fishermen catch a fish paint a 'No Fishing' sign.

Arrogant OAP.

'For better or worse, for richer or for poorer, in sickness and in health, until you wish you were dead?'

"I wouldn't usually say, 'she's always copying me' is grounds for divorce."

'Motivational poster,'

"If marriage is so great how come you never hear about simulated marriage?"

'The cross doesn't affect him. Let's try with a Star of David.'

"Whatever you do in there all day is fine with me, so long as it's not writing a memoir."

"My Mother was right. She told me when I was eighteen, that if I married him it wouldnt last!"

Freak Show

'Hmm...needs refining.'

'The reality is, if you should go on one of those shows, I doubt that TV viewers would accept you any better than I do!'

'When you've seen one criminally violent, sex-filed horror play, you've seen the lot, I always say.'

'Hello, Mr Busino. I understand you're suffering from some drug side effects.'

Yoga Trash Talk

Jesus' bones.

Zoo keeper throwing food to himself.

'You can't fire me. I fired you.'

Hague Convention Defied! Repelling an Assault of Flu Germs

"He's a model husband...but not a working model."

The movie is so bad the server recommends ventilation.

No smoking sign in hell.

"You have been pre-approved for the platinum experience with cashback rewards."

Gala Benefit

"You're lonely and rich and I'm friendly and poor. We're a perfect match, I reckon."

All Nude Dogs.