Materialism Mocker Gifts

"You're lonely and rich and I'm friendly and poor. We're a perfect match, I reckon."

Desk plaques: 'Money isn't everything' '...Which makes it no less awesome in my opinion.'

"I shop, therefore I am."

'If I don't chew this, my S.A.T. scores will skyrocket.'

"You cheap shit! Why can't we have a designer divorce?"

"I'll take new members any way I can get them."

"Well, what would YOU like for Christmas?"

The Nihilist Deli.

"It all started when I didn't grow up in a palatial estate."

"The beatings will continue until the morale improves!"

"Most of my consumerism is self-taught."

'And remember: just hold up this little green paper, and they will do whatever you want.'

"Not only is the grass greener, but check out that Mercedes!"

We just assumed everyone knew they couldn't take it with them.

Robert Macaire recieving expensive gifts from his love

"I didn't mind the moustache, Cosgrove, But we definitely have a 'No mustachio' policy."

New Gods

"My third and final wish is for money and wealth—again!"

'The cross doesn't affect him. Let's try with a Star of David.'

"Good morning, Mrs. Kiley."

'Shallow, so you think I'm shallow do you? Just because I happen to think my career is important, that my car matters and that clothes make a difference.'

Consumerism junkie.

Other Patron Saints of Christmas

"Never mind."

"For Gladys it's not the thought that counts, it's the size of the gift."

Freak Show

'Who told you about my lottery win?'

'Hmm...needs refining.'

"To eventually be rich enough to throw away brand new stuff."

"Depending on who you know, you CAN take it with you. See anything you like?"

"This can't be heaven, where's the shops?"

'The reality is, if you should go on one of those shows, I doubt that TV viewers would accept you any better than I do!'

Jesus' bones.