Mannerism Mocker Gifts

Zoo keeper throwing food to himself.

"I suppose you want the rest of the day off!"

Desk plaque: 'P. Burnside, Upper-Echelon Nincompoop'

'I've collected my memos into one reasonably priced gift book.'

"Less hair doesn't mean less work!"

The Nihilist Deli.

'I'm an extremely general practitioner.'

"Excuse me, Mr Newton, but some of the employees think that your promotion has gone to your head."

"The beatings will continue until the morale improves!"

'Every man has his price, Peterson. I've decided yours is £2.75.'

Mismanagement Consultant.

'Please excuse my nurse -- this is her first day on the job.'

"I like your paperweight, Watkins..."

'How much is that yuppy in the window?'

'Please, sir -- I appeal to your common humanity!'

'Of course we're making a lot of mistakes - this is a dummy corporation.'

Fishermen catch a fish paint a 'No Fishing' sign.

"I wouldn't usually say, 'she's always copying me' is grounds for divorce."

'For better or worse, for richer or for poorer, in sickness and in health, until you wish you were dead?'

Memo to all departments: NO!

"Just you wait until this firing freeze is over!"

"My wife says I bore people to death."

'Motivational poster,'

"If marriage is so great how come you never hear about simulated marriage?"

'The cross doesn't affect him. Let's try with a Star of David.'

'Hmm...needs refining.'

'The reality is, if you should go on one of those shows, I doubt that TV viewers would accept you any better than I do!'

"My Mother was right. She told me when I was eighteen, that if I married him it wouldnt last!"

Freak Show

'Hello, Mr Busino. I understand you're suffering from some drug side effects.'

Yoga Trash Talk

Jesus' bones.

'You can't fire me. I fired you.'

Northerners see a fashionable stranger and suggest throwing a brick at him

"He's a model husband...but not a working model."