Materialism Satirist Gifts

We just assumed everyone knew they couldn't take it with them.

"Well, what would YOU like for Christmas?"

"I'm expert at sniffing out blame."

'Enjoy your meal! We grow everything ourselves!'

'I couldn't think of a science fair project so I just re-invented the wheel.'

"The following program was made possible by fluctuations in the random chaos of the Universe...."

'According to creation mathematicians, all of Euclid's theories were originally found etched into rocks.'

"Up here, light is neither a particle nor a wave. It's a liquid."

"Do you remember when we used to put FOOD in food?"

"This may surprise some of your viewers, but I didn't actually want to go into the box."

"Now you can send it."

'Still think nuclear testing is harmless?'

"And now, speaking against the theory of evolution..."

"The blood test will take a couple of days, but I'm pretty sure it's just ketchup."

"They've got me doing cosmetics research."

'I have no one to blame but myself, for now.'

'I don't like reading on screen, so I'm printing the internet to look at it later.'

"You cheap shit! Why can't we have a designer divorce?"

Evolution Of The Jet Ski

"I'll tell you, mock jury duty beats cancer testing."

'for more obit info, go to...'

"I'll take new members any way I can get them."

Govt. UK led by Seance

"The figures would seem to indicate that you're not really a scientist."

'Do you ever wonder if we'll evolve into creationists?'

"Say, do you have time between all that DNA research to invent a non-smelly sock."

There's a lot of crying out there! Looks like we were gnawing on the internet cable...

Scientific Research: 'Uh...why'd it take'em 20 yeahs t' figyah that out?'

Taken genetic engineering too far

Reviewing a Scientific Paper - Etiquette for References.