Materialism Satirist Pillows

We just assumed everyone knew they couldn't take it with them.

"Well, what would YOU like for Christmas?"

"I'm expert at sniffing out blame."

'Enjoy your meal! We grow everything ourselves!'

'Intelligent Design? My arse!'

'I couldn't think of a science fair project so I just re-invented the wheel.'

"The following program was made possible by fluctuations in the random chaos of the Universe...."

'According to creation mathematicians, all of Euclid's theories were originally found etched into rocks.'

"Up here, light is neither a particle nor a wave. It's a liquid."

'Before you can enter, you need to punch in the verification code so we can be certain that you're a real soul,'

Einstein develops his theories that time is relative while ordering at a fast food restaurant.

"Now you can send it."

"Do you remember when we used to put FOOD in food?"

'Still think nuclear testing is harmless?'

"This may surprise some of your viewers, but I didn't actually want to go into the box."

"And now, speaking against the theory of evolution..."

'Einstein's blackboard as he left it'

Publisher. "The Laws of Motion " is a little dry for a title, Mr. Newton. How about something catchier like "When Push Comes to Shove"?

"The blood test will take a couple of days, but I'm pretty sure it's just ketchup."

"They've got me doing cosmetics research."

'I don't like reading on screen, so I'm printing the internet to look at it later.'

'I have no one to blame but myself, for now.'

Evolution Of The Jet Ski

"I'll tell you, mock jury duty beats cancer testing."

"You cheap shit! Why can't we have a designer divorce?"

'for more obit info, go to...'

Try our new genetically engineered produce.

"Say, do you have time between all that DNA research to invent a non-smelly sock."

There's a lot of crying out there! Looks like we were gnawing on the internet cable...

"Doctor. I am speechless"

"I'll take new members any way I can get them."

Govt. UK led by Seance

"The figures would seem to indicate that you're not really a scientist."

'Do you ever wonder if we'll evolve into creationists?'

Scientific Research: 'Uh...why'd it take'em 20 yeahs t' figyah that out?'