Scientific Satirist Pillows

Testing the Big Bangs theory.

"I hate being around electrons. They're so negative."

"I never do vivisection on a first date."

"The figures would seem to indicate that you're not really a scientist."

Frank's Laundry and Dry Cloning

maze

'You call THAT intelligent design?'

'The Mayor is going to be thrilled -- I found a way to fill potholes with toxic waste!'

"We will demonstrate that climate change denial blogs cause further global warming."

"The control group has taken control."

Vaccines

"It does have a side effect. You'll faint when I tell you how much it will cost to produce."

'Enjoy your meal! We grow everything ourselves!'

'Our admission policy is now simplicity itself. If you have the tuition, you're in.'

'Is there another doctor in the house? He wants a second opinion.'

The Solar System (after deregulation)

Molecular Biology and Cosmology buildings

"Frankly, I can't wait until I evolve into a bird..."

'I couldn't think of a science fair project so I just re-invented the wheel.'

"Up here, light is neither a particle nor a wave. It's a liquid."

"The following program was made possible by fluctuations in the random chaos of the Universe...."

'According to creation mathematicians, all of Euclid's theories were originally found etched into rocks.'

Chemist builds animals instead of molecular models

Virtual Doctor

"You're calling it love, but it's really just static electricity."

She loves to play with string theory.

"This may surprise some of your viewers, but I didn't actually want to go into the box."

Strainspotting

"Do you remember when we used to put FOOD in food?"

'Still think nuclear testing is harmless?'

'OOO, I've thought of a new one! Two squiggles and a backwards G!'

"Professor, we need you to stop. The Student Union has decided that the earth is flat."

PET THEORIES

Saline Drip Sommelier.

"Can you stop complaining about historical inaccuracy and try to enjoy yourself for one minute?"