Material World Humorist Gifts

"With the Coffin 3000, you can take it with you."

"The Eggsorcist"

"Don't worry, Miss. I'll soon get the hang of it."

Electric Blanket.

'Hey, that one looks just like a visible mass of condensed water vapour floating in the atmosphere.'

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'We froze him until medical science knows how to cure spear wounds.'

The mysterious ancient stone figures of Keister Island.

SOUTH AFRICAN MUTANTS LAUGHING FIT

"Four hours study and the poor love still can't decide which luxury saloon to buy for himself."

"Well, what would YOU like for Christmas?"

'Your car should run fine now. I reformatted the hard drive, increased the ram, scanned for viruses, updated the firmware, upgraded to this year's processor...'

"Years of penny-pinching really paid off. The price of copper just went up again."

''Time is an illusion'? - How long did it take you to come up with that?'

Artist uses connect-the-dots canvas to paint nude model.

"It's not my fault - how was I to know you'd look scary with your clothes off?"

"That's a meteor. If it hits the ground its a meteorite."

'Sometimes I scare myself when I realize that I always was and always will be.'

Carl Wilhelm Scheele: "There was a great display of ores and minerals...I could not write with a molybdenite pencil."

"So, Owen tells me you guys met in art school."

Nude conductor of Orchestra conducting 'The full Monte-verdi'

"We've concluded that an alarming percentage of the population are experiencing involuntary eye-rolling at the word 'inclusion'."

'Oh-oh, they're looking up at me ? I think they're on to us!'

'STOP! You're injecting the wrong GMO gene!'

"Gracie, you're a good mud artist."

"I see - Gravity keeps the Earth in orbit but love makes the world go 'round."

'Excuse me, where's the nanotechnology department?' - 'You just trod on it.'

'It says this artist is making a statement about man's struggle with the rising cost of oil paint.'

Tetracycline: Bicycle built for 4 organisms.'

We just assumed everyone knew they couldn't take it with them.

Fissure waxing - Department of Seismology.

Leon the electron was not sure just to where he'd been blasted when the photon struck, but indicators suggested he was now in one of the atom's degenerate orbitals.