Material World Humorist Gifts

"With the Coffin 3000, you can take it with you."

"The Eggsorcist"

When Love In The Laboratory Turns Sour.

"Don't worry, Miss. I'll soon get the hang of it."

Electric Blanket.

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'Hey, that one looks just like a visible mass of condensed water vapour floating in the atmosphere.'

'We froze him until medical science knows how to cure spear wounds.'

The mysterious ancient stone figures of Keister Island.

'Your car should run fine now. I reformatted the hard drive, increased the ram, scanned for viruses, updated the firmware, upgraded to this year's processor...'

"Four hours study and the poor love still can't decide which luxury saloon to buy for himself."

"Well, what would YOU like for Christmas?"

SOUTH AFRICAN MUTANTS LAUGHING FIT

"Years of penny-pinching really paid off. The price of copper just went up again."

Working On Silly String Theory.

Artist uses connect-the-dots canvas to paint nude model.

'Sometimes I scare myself when I realize that I always was and always will be.'

"It's not my fault - how was I to know you'd look scary with your clothes off?"

"So, Owen tells me you guys met in art school."

Carl Wilhelm Scheele: "There was a great display of ores and minerals...I could not write with a molybdenite pencil."

''Time is an illusion'? - How long did it take you to come up with that?'

"That's a meteor. If it hits the ground its a meteorite."

Nude conductor of Orchestra conducting 'The full Monte-verdi'

'STOP! You're injecting the wrong GMO gene!'

"We've concluded that an alarming percentage of the population are experiencing involuntary eye-rolling at the word 'inclusion'."

'Oh-oh, they're looking up at me ? I think they're on to us!'

"I see - Gravity keeps the Earth in orbit but love makes the world go 'round."

Every time one of us gets a new head, those two think it's funny to call it "the changing of the gourd."

"Gracie, you're a good mud artist."

'Excuse me, where's the nanotechnology department?' - 'You just trod on it.'

'It says this artist is making a statement about man's struggle with the rising cost of oil paint.'

Tetracycline: Bicycle built for 4 organisms.'

We just assumed everyone knew they couldn't take it with them.

"Oh, I see - so it's wrong to cut down the Amazon Rainforest, but okay for me to weed, prune and mow our own garden?"

Fissure waxing - Department of Seismology.