Metaphysical Humorist Gifts

'Sometimes I scare myself when I realize that I always was and always will be.'

"Behold the secret to happiness."

"You're going to hate yourself."

"The water changes them back into babies. I think they call it the Fountain of Youth."

"Oh, great - They changed the Meaning of Life again."

Two priests share a laugh outside a confessional booth

"Wait 'til my Dad hears about this!"

Zenemies.

At the 2021 Religious Games

Optimist

'I'm told you've been born again, again and again. . . ?'

"Seriously, I used to be the staff of a guy named Moses, man the stories I could tell..."

"So have you ever stopped to ask yourself: If he really knew the secrets of the universe, would he be living in a damn cave?"

Guru.

"There's only the four of us. I hope you like doo-wop."

Sunday 10 and 2: The Usual Superstitions.

Single Prayer Health Insurance

'Meaning of life? You bet! Here, pull my finger.'

R.C.I.A.

Praying Mantis.

'I suppose you're entitled to your opinion, but I still say that Shemp was the greatest of them all.'

'Do you mean 'who cares what the meaning of life is,' or that 'who cares' IS the meaning of life?'

Regifts of the Magi

OM, SWEET OM

"We bring him gifts of gold, frankincense and mercantile mutual hedge fund options."

Game time.

"We're in deep trouble... there are some people quoting back to us what we taught them."

'Do you want your pie-chart with everything?'

'Oh, the guru is up on the next peak -- I'm his agent.'

'Let me remind you that any advice you receive is protected by copyright and I retain all rights therein.'

"...and thank you for sending my guardian angel to protect me from that truck today..."

"What if it's smarter than us?"

Om and Ommer

Moses' TV guide.

Guru levitates while wife vacuums.