Metaphysical Humorist Pillows

'Sometimes I scare myself when I realize that I always was and always will be.'

"Behold the secret to happiness."

"You're going to hate yourself."

"Oh, great - They changed the Meaning of Life again."

"Wait 'til my Dad hears about this!"

Two priests share a laugh outside a confessional booth

Zenemies.

At the 2021 Religious Games

Optimist

'I'm told you've been born again, again and again. . . ?'

"Seriously, I used to be the staff of a guy named Moses, man the stories I could tell..."

"So have you ever stopped to ask yourself: If he really knew the secrets of the universe, would he be living in a damn cave?"

Guru.

"There's only the four of us. I hope you like doo-wop."

Single Prayer Health Insurance

Sunday 10 and 2: The Usual Superstitions.

'Meaning of life? You bet! Here, pull my finger.'

Praying Mantis.

'Do you mean 'who cares what the meaning of life is,' or that 'who cares' IS the meaning of life?'

Regifts of the Magi

'Do you want your pie-chart with everything?'

"We're in deep trouble... there are some people quoting back to us what we taught them."

"We bring him gifts of gold, frankincense and mercantile mutual hedge fund options."

Game time.

OM, SWEET OM

'Oh, the guru is up on the next peak -- I'm his agent.'

"...and thank you for sending my guardian angel to protect me from that truck today..."

"What if it's smarter than us?"

Moses' TV guide.

Guru levitates while wife vacuums.

Seneca