Philosophical Humorists Pillows

"Next time you hire a futurist, don't hire a good one."

"Behold the secret to happiness."

Ethics exam cheater.

"... and I have a follow-up question regarding rawhide."

"E=MC² Energy=Milk·Coffee²"

Intelligent people laugh too!

"Je suis Descartes, donc, je pense."

Scarcity

"Oh, great - They changed the Meaning of Life again."

Archimedes statue with a lever

Zenemies.

Optimist

"...I don't believe in the past or the future. I don't even believe in right now. Everyone remembers the past differently. Everyone imagines the future differently. Everyone even disagrees about what's happening right now. So who's to say tomorrow what you and I did tonight?"

"So have you ever stopped to ask yourself: If he really knew the secrets of the universe, would he be living in a damn cave?"

Schrödinger and his cat

'That's your third bowl of gruel this week! What is this -- a feeding frenzy?'

"It has great depth, realized with such a unique economy of paint application... yet, there remains a curious aura of drivel I can't dismiss."

'What do you mean 'theoretically'? Everything we do is theoretical.'

'No, you weren't there. But in your expert opinion as a certified brainiac, do you think he did it?'

"Give me your metabolism! Now!"

'Do you mean 'who cares what the meaning of life is,' or that 'who cares' IS the meaning of life?'

A planet like ours - pub quiz dolphin

'Looks like this part of the beach has been claimed.'

"The studio's asked me to see if I can dumb down some Danielle Steel."

"The problem is you say Nietzsche and expect everything to be just peachy."

'Do you want your pie-chart with everything?'

"Hey samson, nice man bun."

Auguste Comte

'Heidegger-Hi!'

"What if it's smarter than us?"