Humorous Philosophers Pillows

'You know the saying 'He who dies with the most toys wins?' Well, THIS is what you win!'

'All I did was touch the screen here, and it called me a misanthrope.'

Fred served a higher porpoise

"Behold the secret to happiness."

"... and I have a follow-up question regarding rawhide."

"Oh, great - They changed the Meaning of Life again."

Zenemies.

Optimist

"I got all 'Cs', but I call that an 'A' report card...'A' for 'Average.'"

"So have you ever stopped to ask yourself: If he really knew the secrets of the universe, would he be living in a damn cave?"

'That's your third bowl of gruel this week! What is this -- a feeding frenzy?'

"Ever wondered about the development of mankind if, just before the big bang, a voice said 'Oops!'"

'Do you mean 'who cares what the meaning of life is,' or that 'who cares' IS the meaning of life?'

"I don't think of it as copying from Danny's paper ... I think of it as utilizing the Freedom of Information Act."

'I respond to stimuli, therefore I ham.'

"What if it's smarter than us?"

"Sorry - I've got to take this..."

Seneca

Human meat.

'And remember: just hold up this little green paper, and they will do whatever you want.'

"I've tried Buddhism, Taoism, Transendental meditation, Confucionism, Theolog, Scientgology....but I've found a good hand rolled joint of homegrown works best!"

'What do they mean 'is borer a beast of the field'?'

"Hey Neil, I've got an idea - let's really freak everyone out and tell them you're quitting physics to become my new co-Pope."

"What's it all about?"

"Yes, but can your philosophical speculations on existence also be relative to why I crossed the road?"

"Mind if I tweak it?"

'We now have a drug to cure 'writer's block' but a common side effect is plagiaism.'

Department de Philosophie

'No dear, I do not think it's time we homo sapiens apologised to the Neanderthals.'

'There are limits to this seriousness, sir!'

Can we see our way clear to doing something about air pollution?

'Really? -- the hokey-pokey IS what it's all about?'

"I take it you agree that there can be no meaningful thought without the existence of language."

Exercise and diet at the same time - open and close your refrigerator door 100 times.