Comical Philosopher Pillows

The Graveyard of Deleted Tweets

'Can't you just not believe in God and leave it at that?'

"What's it all about?"

'What do they mean 'is borer a beast of the field'?'

"Behold the secret to happiness."

"... and I have a follow-up question regarding rawhide."

"Oh, great - They changed the Meaning of Life again."

Zenemies.

"You can't compare apples and oranges because oranges have longer legs."

Optimist

'That's your third bowl of gruel this week! What is this -- a feeding frenzy?'

"So have you ever stopped to ask yourself: If he really knew the secrets of the universe, would he be living in a damn cave?"

"I'm sorry, but you didn't recognize me as the Messiah when I had braces and glasses."

'Forget it. Bioethics doesn't apply to us.'

"Very impressive resume, however you didn't explain why you were tagged and released from your last job."

"She's really nice and I didn't want to hurt her feelings, so here we are."

'Do you mean 'who cares what the meaning of life is,' or that 'who cares' IS the meaning of life?'

'I respond to stimuli, therefore I ham.'

"Yes, this is heaven - but we need some source of funding, too."

"What if it's smarter than us?"

'Sometimes I scare myself when I realize that I always was and always will be.'

Human meat.

Seneca

"Sorry - I've got to take this..."

'And remember: just hold up this little green paper, and they will do whatever you want.'

And the Lord said: 'I created the universe. What on earth makes you think I'll be impressed by a dead goat?'

"Hey Neil, I've got an idea - let's really freak everyone out and tell them you're quitting physics to become my new co-Pope."

"I've tried Buddhism, Taoism, Transendental meditation, Confucionism, Theolog, Scientgology....but I've found a good hand rolled joint of homegrown works best!"

"Yes, but can your philosophical speculations on existence also be relative to why I crossed the road?"

"Mind if I tweak it?"

Department de Philosophie

Can we see our way clear to doing something about air pollution?

'No dear, I do not think it's time we homo sapiens apologised to the Neanderthals.'

Valuation of Heaven