Mythical Humorist Pillows

"Only 5,000 steps? I thought it would be more than that."

Arresting Adam and Eve

"It's Him. he wants us to lay off until the Fruit Board has published this year's crop results."

Uses of a Dead Cat in History: Dead Cat Excalibur.

Even Zeus has had to comply with health and safety regulations.

'Don't be daft,woman-of course I'm not gonna FRY her!'

'I think it's just a tax loss fiddle.'

Medusa turning everyone in the 'Hard Rock caf�' into rock

"I expect it's called paradise because there's no mother-in-law here."

"We bring him gifts of gold, frankincense and mercantile mutual hedge fund options."

"No Officer, but they will all make lovely trouser belts, shoes, or handbags."

Goliath's birthday.

"And now for the 'piece de resistance!'"

God with a hammer

"Here we are."

"I said slime."

'Oh, no - I have to read each tentacle - that'll be extra, of course.'

A bird plays the flute to a cat.

"Wait, has thou brought snacks?"

Adam and Eve, as old people.

Game time.

'Sheep striptease'.

'You see me coming here every week and paying you fifty dollars...'

Moon Pies.

Guru levitates while wife vacuums.

Snowman Tattoo

Park cleaner orders leaf to come down.

Factory Recall Unicorn.

'Sometimes I scare myself when I realize that I always was and always will be.'

'See? Tantor like Jane -- he want Jane give belly rub!'

'..and one for the pot.'

"You said a moment ago that everybody you look at seems to be a rabbit. Now just what do you mean by that, Mrs. Sprague?"

First attempt at the Big Bang

'Wow...you must have had a really bad day, eh, mate?'

'Hey, can I have your frequent flier points?'