Magical Humorist Pillows

'..and one for the pot.'

'Think I preferred the old Irish barman.'

"Here we are."

"Canadian Mt. ‘Rush’more"

"Hey, pal, let's hear 'Doggie in the Window' again, and this time play it like you mean it!"

"I agree, the place was a tear-down, but I just remembered we were only renting it."

Football Chameleon

"This next one is my own quirky rendition of Berlioz's 'Symphonie Fantastique,' Movement 5, 'Dream of a Witches' Sabbath.'"

"I was going to play the Moonlight Sonata, but I forgot the key."

"Eww - that whale's breath smells awful!" "You could use a breath mint yourself, lady!"

"Day 4,261... I don’t know how much longer I can survive. Still no signs of civilization. Food is scarce and I fear the wound on my ankle is infected. Still, all this pales in comparison to the horror of having to be anywhere at any particular time."

"The Eggsorcist"

MUSHROOM MASACRE.

"I said slime."

"I’ve heard of them barking at the moon, but never scatting at the sun."

' It's a bit of an anti climax - I've washed it but I can't go any where ! '

"Not now, my love. I'm feeling preminstrel."

A bird plays the flute to a cat.

"Don't worry, Miss. I'll soon get the hang of it."

"I condensed my painting to the pure essence of the message. What helps me a lot is the fact that I've got nothing to say at all."

'I'm no expert, but I think we're a little behind when it comes to the latest industry technology.'

"Wait, has thou brought snacks?"

Clown answers the door to a custard pie in the face.

"[UNABLE TO PROCESS THIS IMAGE]"

'Mom, Dad... we found out that in a previous life, Sheila was a dog and I was a tree. That's why we decided to marry to continue this promising relationship!'

"I thought it would be appropriate to have a band playing as we went down."

The Phantom Of The Garden

"They'll be expecting adagio. Go with the allegro."

"Pendleton, as of noon today your services will no longer be required. Meanwhile, keep up the good work."

Opera singer singing to her partner who is wearing a gas mask on due to her bad breath.

Guitar pickin'

"Who is 'coming around the mountain,' John? Could it be your mother?"

Pay me not to pay 'Wonderwall'

"I'm thinking of leaving these crowded condos and going to a place that's been deserted for years...the mall."

Adam and Eve, as old people.