Mechanic Humorist Gifts

"I agree, it's a lot of bang for the buck. And thumping, whining, clicking, clacking, clanging, grinding, buzzing and rattling."

'M.O.T. certificate?!...a death certificate's the best I can do.'

'Your car should run fine now. I reformatted the hard drive, increased the ram, scanned for viruses, updated the firmware, upgraded to this year's processor...'

The Rarely Seen Gas-Powered Eel

"They communicate through clicks and taps."

'Does this thing get channel four.'

Electric Blanket.

'...And, from what I understand, they don't have any hard drive at all.'

'Maybe a firewall isn't enough to protect our computer from worms and viruses. That's why I additionally installed this fence!'

'If I was this car I wouldn't let you in the drivers seat!'

HUAWEI 5G

"I gave up on the wheel and designed this. You'll thank me when electricity is invented."

'The problem seems to be in the memory bank.'

'I think I've got a screw loose.'

"I can't stand this new hardware. It's much harder than the old hardware."

"It's garage music."

'Found your problem - there was a hairball in the gasline.'

"That computer has a second virus protection software. . . it's my mom."

'Well, if I have a short circuit, just lengthen it.'

"One human arm torn off by a roomba - starting bid is 500 volts."

Ironing the Mouse

Auto Mechanic's Confessional Booth

Unsound

"Also in, the robot apocalypse."

Witness Protection Program

"If your internet doesn't work, please check our online help chat...if your internet doesn't work..."

A Self-Driving Car

"They said it had a V-8, so I assumed it would run on tomato juice!"

'I think I found your missing nut.'

'We're seeing more of this in the touch-pad era: your fingertips need a retread.'

Whats Ape

'Batteries not included, it's a real cat.'

'My grandfather always used to say 'Son, if it ain't dysfunctional, don't attempt preemptive maintenance intervention on it.' Or something like that.'

So good to meet you, Facebook to Facebook.