Mechanic Humor Aficionado Gifts

'If I was this car I wouldn't let you in the drivers seat!'

Electric Blanket.

'Your car should run fine now. I reformatted the hard drive, increased the ram, scanned for viruses, updated the firmware, upgraded to this year's processor...'

'...need to design something to bridge the generation gap.'

'I think I've got a screw loose.'

'Found your problem - there was a hairball in the gasline.'

"It's garage music."

'Well, if I have a short circuit, just lengthen it.'

Auto Mechanic's Confessional Booth

'That's the problem with absolute power, Sire. It corrupts absolutely. And it always seems to start with the fenders and door panels.'

The Rarely Seen Gas-Powered Eel

'Batteries not included, it's a real cat.'

"They said it had a V-8, so I assumed it would run on tomato juice!"

'I think I found your missing nut.'

"One CC of lubricant after meals, okay?"

"And this, gentlemen, is what one of our typical American workers looks before he gets fired!"

'Try it now.'

Hard-working.

"The replacement part is $28, but cost will be $3,200 after we dismantle half the engine to install it."

"Just what I thought... Bad shock absorbers."

'See, you misread it - it's void where prohibited by lou!'

Safety pin factory.

'M.O.T. certificate?!...a death certificate's the best I can do.'

WD40

It's only firing on 87 cylinders.

'Oh, here comes trouble - spanner enters workplace full of cogs!'

Unnatural Food-nuts and bolts, sale on junk foods, rusty nuts, bolts, and screws.

'Did you hear that marketing wants us to move into 'compressed liquids' next?'

'Pop the hood. I think your inverted Republican fiscal flux capacitor is slowing you down.'

Car Carriage

'It refuses to stop at garage sales!'

Clancy: Car Repairs

"I agree, it's a lot of bang for the buck. And thumping, whining, clicking, clacking, clanging, grinding, buzzing and rattling."

"With some rest, vitamins and mild exercise, that metal fatigue should clear up in just a few weeks!"