Mechanic Humor Aficionado Pillows

'If I was this car I wouldn't let you in the drivers seat!'

Electric Blanket.

'Your car should run fine now. I reformatted the hard drive, increased the ram, scanned for viruses, updated the firmware, upgraded to this year's processor...'

'...need to design something to bridge the generation gap.'

'I think I've got a screw loose.'

"It's garage music."

'Found your problem - there was a hairball in the gasline.'

Every time one of us gets a new head, those two think it's funny to call it "the changing of the gourd."

'Well, if I have a short circuit, just lengthen it.'

Auto Mechanic's Confessional Booth

"They said it had a V-8, so I assumed it would run on tomato juice!"

'That's the problem with absolute power, Sire. It corrupts absolutely. And it always seems to start with the fenders and door panels.'

'Batteries not included, it's a real cat.'

The Rarely Seen Gas-Powered Eel

'I think I found your missing nut.'

"One CC of lubricant after meals, okay?"

"And this, gentlemen, is what one of our typical American workers looks before he gets fired!"

Hard-working.

'Try it now.'

'See, you misread it - it's void where prohibited by lou!'

"Just what I thought... Bad shock absorbers."

"The replacement part is $28, but cost will be $3,200 after we dismantle half the engine to install it."

Safety pin factory.

'Oh, here comes trouble - spanner enters workplace full of cogs!'

'M.O.T. certificate?!...a death certificate's the best I can do.'

It's only firing on 87 cylinders.

WD40

'Did you hear that marketing wants us to move into 'compressed liquids' next?'

'Pop the hood. I think your inverted Republican fiscal flux capacitor is slowing you down.'

Car Carriage

"Your husband's going to pull through, but your differential is shot!"

'It refuses to stop at garage sales!'

Unnatural Food-nuts and bolts, sale on junk foods, rusty nuts, bolts, and screws.

Clancy: Car Repairs

"I agree, it's a lot of bang for the buck. And thumping, whining, clicking, clacking, clanging, grinding, buzzing and rattling."