Mechanical Humor Enthusiast Pillows

"With some rest, vitamins and mild exercise, that metal fatigue should clear up in just a few weeks!"

Electric Blanket.

'If I was this car I wouldn't let you in the drivers seat!'

'Your car should run fine now. I reformatted the hard drive, increased the ram, scanned for viruses, updated the firmware, upgraded to this year's processor...'

'...need to design something to bridge the generation gap.'

'I think I've got a screw loose.'

"It's garage music."

'Found your problem - there was a hairball in the gasline.'

'Well, if I have a short circuit, just lengthen it.'

Auto Mechanic's Confessional Booth

The Rarely Seen Gas-Powered Eel

'I think I found your missing nut.'

"They said it had a V-8, so I assumed it would run on tomato juice!"

'Batteries not included, it's a real cat.'

"One CC of lubricant after meals, okay?"

"And this, gentlemen, is what one of our typical American workers looks before he gets fired!"

Hard-working.

'Try it now.'

'See, you misread it - it's void where prohibited by lou!'

"The replacement part is $28, but cost will be $3,200 after we dismantle half the engine to install it."

"Just what I thought... Bad shock absorbers."

Safety pin factory.

WD40

'Oh, here comes trouble - spanner enters workplace full of cogs!'

It's only firing on 87 cylinders.

'M.O.T. certificate?!...a death certificate's the best I can do.'

"So, General, what do you think of this new idea for a bridging technique?"

'Pop the hood. I think your inverted Republican fiscal flux capacitor is slowing you down.'

'Did you hear that marketing wants us to move into 'compressed liquids' next?'

'I'll say this for it - It keeps him out of the house.'

How to Cross the Rhine

Clancy: Car Repairs

Car Carriage

Unnatural Food-nuts and bolts, sale on junk foods, rusty nuts, bolts, and screws.