Mechanic Humor Fan Pillows

Clancy: Coot of a Day

Electric Blanket.

'If I was this car I wouldn't let you in the drivers seat!'

'Your car should run fine now. I reformatted the hard drive, increased the ram, scanned for viruses, updated the firmware, upgraded to this year's processor...'

'...need to design something to bridge the generation gap.'

Man looking at sign that reads 'Hord Wark' and says: "I can't put that up. It's too much like hard work."

'I think I've got a screw loose.'

"We know how to treat old or stubborn workers. After all, this is a dog food factory."

I need a 10 foot board. That's 70 feet in dog feet.

'Well, if I have a short circuit, just lengthen it.'

'Is your security clearance top sacred?'

"It's garage music."

'Ring binders Direct' 'Ace Laxatives'

'It's my prostate.'

The Rarely Seen Gas-Powered Eel

Men resting.

"They said it had a V-8, so I assumed it would run on tomato juice!"

'Batteries not included, it's a real cat.'

'I think I found your missing nut.'

'Don't be silly, Ralph...of course you're not being replaced by a computer...you're being replaced by an electric paper shredder.'

"One CC of lubricant after meals, okay?"

'Try it now.'

Say No To Crack.

Forklift truck

"Just what I thought... Bad shock absorbers."

"So, that's twenty seven breakfast rolls, sixteen bacon sandwiches. . ."

"The replacement part is $28, but cost will be $3,200 after we dismantle half the engine to install it."

'Reminds me, my urologist said there's something wrong with my plumbing.'

It's only firing on 87 cylinders.

'Oh, here comes trouble - spanner enters workplace full of cogs!'

'M.O.T. certificate?!...a death certificate's the best I can do.'

'We deal mostly in rolling stock...'

Car Carriage