Mechanical Humorist Pillows

"One CC of lubricant after meals, okay?"

'Try it now.'

'All this car needs is a little love and affection.'

Electric Blanket.

'I think I found your missing nut.'

Unnatural Food-nuts and bolts, sale on junk foods, rusty nuts, bolts, and screws.

Your electric garage door is broken?

Windscreen replacement

"I know you worry about me speeding when I borrow your car, Daddy. So, this evening I kept the handbrake on all the way home!"

"They said it had a V-8, so I assumed it would run on tomato juice!"

"They communicate through clicks and taps."

'Does this thing get channel four.'

'...And, from what I understand, they don't have any hard drive at all.'

'Maybe a firewall isn't enough to protect our computer from worms and viruses. That's why I additionally installed this fence!'

'Business is booming.' - at Uncle Bert's Explosives

'If I was this car I wouldn't let you in the drivers seat!'

HUAWEI 5G

"I gave up on the wheel and designed this. You'll thank me when electricity is invented."

'The problem seems to be in the memory bank.'

'Your car should run fine now. I reformatted the hard drive, increased the ram, scanned for viruses, updated the firmware, upgraded to this year's processor...'

'Well, they're just like your mom's cookies if your mom is a 35 ton, multi-unit dough extruder.'

'Your resume is certainly impressive, Mr. Simmons, but do you have any on the job experience?'

'I think I've got a screw loose.'

"I can't stand this new hardware. It's much harder than the old hardware."

"That computer has a second virus protection software. . . it's my mom."

"It's garage music."

'Well, if I have a short circuit, just lengthen it.'

'Found your problem - there was a hairball in the gasline.'

Ironing the Mouse

"Also in, the robot apocalypse."

Auto Mechanic's Confessional Booth

"One human arm torn off by a roomba - starting bid is 500 volts."

Unsound

"What we need is a union."

"If your internet doesn't work, please check our online help chat...if your internet doesn't work..."