Mechanic Humor Lover Pillows

It's only firing on 87 cylinders.

Electric Blanket.

'If I was this car I wouldn't let you in the drivers seat!'

'Your car should run fine now. I reformatted the hard drive, increased the ram, scanned for viruses, updated the firmware, upgraded to this year's processor...'

'...need to design something to bridge the generation gap.'

'Some hackers have broken into the system. It goes in as molten steel, and it comes out as chicken gumbo soup.'

'I think I've got a screw loose.'

Ad Valorem

"The are 10 types of people in the world - those who understand binary and those who don't."

'It's only a slug Norman.'

Every time one of us gets a new head, those two think it's funny to call it "the changing of the gourd."

'Found your problem - there was a hairball in the gasline.'

"There - now we're environmentally responsible."

'Well, if I have a short circuit, just lengthen it.'

"It's garage music."

"So...were they open to negotiations?"

Auto Mechanic's Confessional Booth

The Rarely Seen Gas-Powered Eel

'I think I found your missing nut.'

'That's the problem with absolute power, Sire. It corrupts absolutely. And it always seems to start with the fenders and door panels.'

'Batteries not included, it's a real cat.'

"I told him to trim a couple of inches off the middle and he thought it was a fat remark."

"They said it had a V-8, so I assumed it would run on tomato juice!"

'Completed the pyramid, eh? Now take it down to the ground.'

'March up that hill! And smile once in awhile, will you!'

Awareness!...

"One CC of lubricant after meals, okay?"

Acme Rubber Band Co.

'Try it now.'

"The microwave isn't working and I needed to heat my lunch."

"The replacement part is $28, but cost will be $3,200 after we dismantle half the engine to install it."

"Just what I thought... Bad shock absorbers."

"Hey, I saw you on the cover of Assembly Line Illustrated!!"

"Don't panic. It's one of ours!"

'So, are you saying that in the future I shouldn't open any email attachments labeled, 'deadly computer virus'?'