Mechanic Humor Lover Pillows

It's only firing on 87 cylinders.

Electric Blanket.

'If I was this car I wouldn't let you in the drivers seat!'

'Your car should run fine now. I reformatted the hard drive, increased the ram, scanned for viruses, updated the firmware, upgraded to this year's processor...'

'...need to design something to bridge the generation gap.'

'Some hackers have broken into the system. It goes in as molten steel, and it comes out as chicken gumbo soup.'

'I think I've got a screw loose.'

Ad Valorem

'It's only a slug Norman.'

"The are 10 types of people in the world - those who understand binary and those who don't."

"It's garage music."

"There - now we're environmentally responsible."

'Found your problem - there was a hairball in the gasline.'

'Well, if I have a short circuit, just lengthen it.'

Auto Mechanic's Confessional Booth

"So...were they open to negotiations?"

The Rarely Seen Gas-Powered Eel

'That's the problem with absolute power, Sire. It corrupts absolutely. And it always seems to start with the fenders and door panels.'

'I think I found your missing nut.'

"They said it had a V-8, so I assumed it would run on tomato juice!"

'Completed the pyramid, eh? Now take it down to the ground.'

'March up that hill! And smile once in awhile, will you!'

"I told him to trim a couple of inches off the middle and he thought it was a fat remark."

'Batteries not included, it's a real cat.'

Awareness!...

"One CC of lubricant after meals, okay?"

Acme Rubber Band Co.

"The microwave isn't working and I needed to heat my lunch."

'Try it now.'

"The replacement part is $28, but cost will be $3,200 after we dismantle half the engine to install it."

"Just what I thought... Bad shock absorbers."

"Hey, I saw you on the cover of Assembly Line Illustrated!!"

"Don't panic. It's one of ours!"

'So, are you saying that in the future I shouldn't open any email attachments labeled, 'deadly computer virus'?'

"Looks like some kinda sleeper cell."