Mechanical Humor Fan Gifts

Car Carriage

'Your radiator's gone.'

'I think I've got a screw loose.'

Electric Blanket.

'If I was this car I wouldn't let you in the drivers seat!'

'Your car should run fine now. I reformatted the hard drive, increased the ram, scanned for viruses, updated the firmware, upgraded to this year's processor...'

'...need to design something to bridge the generation gap.'

Man looking at sign that reads 'Hord Wark' and says: "I can't put that up. It's too much like hard work."

Satis Factory Tour

'Is your security clearance top sacred?'

'Well, if I have a short circuit, just lengthen it.'

I need a 10 foot board. That's 70 feet in dog feet.

Every time one of us gets a new head, those two think it's funny to call it "the changing of the gourd."

'Yeah, but if it's NOT a mirage, maybe we can find Mapquest on it!'

"We know how to treat old or stubborn workers. After all, this is a dog food factory."

'Ring binders Direct' 'Ace Laxatives'

'It's my prostate.'

The Rarely Seen Gas-Powered Eel

"They said it had a V-8, so I assumed it would run on tomato juice!"

'I think I found your missing nut.'

'Don't be silly, Ralph...of course you're not being replaced by a computer...you're being replaced by an electric paper shredder.'

Men resting.

'Batteries not included, it's a real cat.'

"One CC of lubricant after meals, okay?"

'Try it now.'

Say No To Crack.

"So, that's twenty seven breakfast rolls, sixteen bacon sandwiches. . ."

'This thing is airproof, right?'

Forklift truck

'Reminds me, my urologist said there's something wrong with my plumbing.'

'M.O.T. certificate?!...a death certificate's the best I can do.'

It's only firing on 87 cylinders.

'Oh, here comes trouble - spanner enters workplace full of cogs!'

'We deal mostly in rolling stock...'

"Your husband's going to pull through, but your differential is shot!"