Mattress Salesman Gifts

"It's a mammary foam mattress."

"A secure and restful sleep is guaranteed when this mattress is stuffed with your own money."

"Maybe we shouldn't have chosen to buy the super springy mattress!"

"Do you have anything with a bit more back support?"

Arabian Water Bed

"There's something wrong with the pillow."

'This one's good if you like to toss and turn all night.'

'I'd like to match this credenza.'

'This was designed for people who have mastered easy chairs and want to attempt something more difficult.'

"Well, do you want to buy this sofa or not? You've been on it for three days!"

"People will pay anything to get away from it all. These babies don't even have WiFi on them."

'Darling...I'm afraid the sofa salesmen got the better of me.'

'Today a ray of hope . . .'

'Now THAT'S what I call a love seat!'

'OVERSLEPT? All four thousand of them???'

Mattress makers picketing in front of factory are sleepwalking.

"If you haven't got a TV, what do you point your furniture at?"

'Now, that's what I call a deathbed!'

'No - I'll give the underlay a miss.'

"The Firminator. One inch of foam over cement blocks."

"I'm looking for something with low clearance. Something monsters won't be able to get under."

Mattress salesmen are creepy. Especially the ones that lie down on the bed with you.

"I guess you should have read the fine print on that tag before you ripped it off the mattress."

The domino effect.

'Plus, you get to keep any change you happen to find under the cushions.'

Water bed.

'I won't be coming to see you again. I've purchased a therapeutic mattress.'

"Firm yet comfortable, with 420 individual spring posture coils to enhance support. Perfect for hiding under."

'Frank! Cut that out and get back to work!'

'Mine!'

"It's more than just a mattress. It's a great place to rest your weary assets."

"No more getting up and having to go to the kitchen for a midnight snack."

The Princess and the Pea

"Seats two comfortably. Three if your kinky."

So this is what you meant when you said it came with its own computer furniture.