Furniture Salesman Gifts

'This is our latest in coffee table designs...'

Private Detective / Used Furniture Salesman

'No sir. It wasn't a recliner until you sat in it!'

"This is our trainee model."

So this is what you meant when you said it came with its own computer furniture.

'The Magic Cushion molds and attaches to you so that every chair is your chair.'

'This is great, we'll take it.'

'Dining table. Seats six people, with square legs.'

Mattress stores are everywhere

'This one's good if you like to toss and turn all night.'

"Are you sure there wasn't a floor model?"

'I'd like to match this credenza.'

"Attention, everyone! I'd like to introduce the newest member of our family."

'Make up your mind, folks... King size or Queen size?'

'This was designed for people who have mastered easy chairs and want to attempt something more difficult.'

"Well, do you want to buy this sofa or not? You've been on it for three days!"

"It's been unanimously decided that we don't like this table. Could you show us another model?"

"I really like this one – but I'm afraid of getting hurt again."

"Would you mind moving to your doggy bed? I'd like to sit in my chair. I know you can hear me. Your book is upside down."

"It's also a flat-bed scanner."

"We've decided to give you a bonus, Rick. It's any change you find under the cushions."

Nick Offerman

Introverted Chair

Authentic Rinkelmier chair (Built 1723)

Naked Furniture

'This one's got a mahogany finish, easy to assemble and comes with a magical kingdom as standard.'

'Darling...I'm afraid the sofa salesmen got the better of me.'

"Larry made that chair from a pile of sticks."

Irritable dowel syndrome

'I hate to let you go, Walker, but these Ottoman prices have really come down.'

"If you haven't got a TV, what do you point your furniture at?"

"Hillary Clinton is polling well here. Sales off pants suits are up."

'Now THAT'S what I call a love seat!'

"I've been researching a little furniture company that I'd like to rearrange."

"I've up cycled your Chippendale!"