Furniture Store Salesman Gifts

'I'm trying to imagine what it will look like with my potato on it.'

'This one's good if you like to toss and turn all night.'

'I'd like to match this credenza.'

"Attention, everyone! I'd like to introduce the newest member of our family."

'Make up your mind, folks... King size or Queen size?'

Leda knew it was serious when the visited Ikea together.

"Yes, but I'll know it's a recliner."

Man and woman buying furniture.

'This was designed for people who have mastered easy chairs and want to attempt something more difficult.'

"Pretty cushy, am I right?"

"It's been unanimously decided that we don't like this table. Could you show us another model?"

"Well, do you want to buy this sofa or not? You've been on it for three days!"

"I really like this one – but I'm afraid of getting hurt again."

Den Furniture

Fumes from furniture

"We've decided to give you a bonus, Rick. It's any change you find under the cushions."

"It's also a flat-bed scanner."

Naked Furniture

'This one's got a mahogany finish, easy to assemble and comes with a magical kingdom as standard.'

"Hmmm. Not sure it will go with my wife."

"Sir, there are no waitresses or menus — this is Crate & Barrel."

'Darling...I'm afraid the sofa salesmen got the better of me.'

'We'll take it. Come along Rex.'

'I hate to let you go, Walker, but these Ottoman prices have really come down.'

"If you haven't got a TV, what do you point your furniture at?"

Furniture. I don't care what style. I just want a couch that matches her fur.

'Now THAT'S what I call a love seat!'

'And the 'World's Greatest Boss' mug comes with the desk.'

"I finally figured out what was causing my backache. You know that fancy modern office furniture I ordered a few weeks back? I just realized. I've been sitting on the wastebasket."

"I've been researching a little furniture company that I'd like to rearrange."

Ikea for Hippies

"Hillary Clinton is polling well here. Sales off pants suits are up."

"You said to pack only the essentials, and this couch is essential for my afternoon naps."

'Perhaps you'd like to try something a little firmer, madam?'

Memory Foam Mattress.