Furniture Dealer Gifts

'How was the Feng shui? What I thought was an invite for Chinese food turned out to be a night of rearranging furniture.'

"Tell me about this fear of couches."

"I realize we had to liquidate some assets, but don't you think I'd be more productive if I had a desk?"

Interior design trends for parents....

"All in favor of destroying the throw pillow, raise your paw."

"This is a clever little shop. It makes you think it would be fun to own a lamp."

"Oh, wow! Is that stunning or what?" "Mid-century classic. Should be in a museum. Let's pee on it." "Totally."

"Surprise!"

"This new chair has the smoothest 360 swivel action on the market!"

Four Common Lampshade Mistakes and How To Avoid Them.

"The knights of the round accent table"

'This one's good if you like to toss and turn all night.'

'I had no idea Ikea had been around so long.'

"OK, last time: Cado teak lounge chair from Denmark – me. Doggy bed – you."

"Funny. My girlfriend said the same thing."

'Adam and Eve in the garden of Sweden'

'This chair ain't big enough for the both of us.'

"If it's got my ass on it, it's befitting of royalty."

"Are you sure there wasn't a floor model?"

'I'd like to match this credenza.'

"John, wake up, I think the mattress has stopped breathing."

Lay-Z-Family Recliner

"I tell ya - if I ever stop moving, I'll die."

"Attention, everyone! I'd like to introduce the newest member of our family."

'Make up your mind, folks... King size or Queen size?'

Leda knew it was serious when the visited Ikea together.

'We've moved some fussy people, but she tops it!'

"Why does the chair always get to chair these meetings?"

'This was designed for people who have mastered easy chairs and want to attempt something more difficult.'

Man reads a book while seated in a loveseat as a cat peers over the seat at him.

"Yes, but I'll know it's a recliner."

"Pretty cushy, am I right?"

An assortment of vegetables in the form of Tables

Man and woman buying furniture.

"Sitting on a beanbag doesn't take me back to the seventies- it just makes me wonder how I'm ever going to get up again."