Furniture Dealer Gifts

'How was the Feng shui? What I thought was an invite for Chinese food turned out to be a night of rearranging furniture.'

"Tell me about this fear of couches."

"I realize we had to liquidate some assets, but don't you think I'd be more productive if I had a desk?"

Interior design trends for parents....

"All in favor of destroying the throw pillow, raise your paw."

"This is a clever little shop. It makes you think it would be fun to own a lamp."

"This new chair has the smoothest 360 swivel action on the market!"

"Oh, wow! Is that stunning or what?" "Mid-century classic. Should be in a museum. Let's pee on it." "Totally."

"Surprise!"

Four Common Lampshade Mistakes and How To Avoid Them.

"The knights of the round accent table"

'This one's good if you like to toss and turn all night.'

'I had no idea Ikea had been around so long.'

"Funny. My girlfriend said the same thing."

"OK, last time: Cado teak lounge chair from Denmark – me. Doggy bed – you."

'Adam and Eve in the garden of Sweden'

'I'd like to match this credenza.'

"If it's got my ass on it, it's befitting of royalty."

Lay-Z-Family Recliner

"Are you sure there wasn't a floor model?"

"I tell ya - if I ever stop moving, I'll die."

"John, wake up, I think the mattress has stopped breathing."

"Attention, everyone! I'd like to introduce the newest member of our family."

'Make up your mind, folks... King size or Queen size?'

'We've moved some fussy people, but she tops it!'

Leda knew it was serious when the visited Ikea together.

"Why does the chair always get to chair these meetings?"

"Sitting on a beanbag doesn't take me back to the seventies- it just makes me wonder how I'm ever going to get up again."

'Sorry about this, but I really need a rug for my bachelor pad.'

Man reads a book while seated in a loveseat as a cat peers over the seat at him.

"Yes, but I'll know it's a recliner."

An assortment of vegetables in the form of Tables

'This was designed for people who have mastered easy chairs and want to attempt something more difficult.'

'Hold on, Bob. I'm downshifting.'