Furniture Retailer Gifts

'You're looking for a coffee table? Regular, or decaf?'

The cushions are very soft !

"I like it – I'm just not sure it's what I want to rot on."

"The Great Ikeamids"

Furniture being sent out of the shop ('everything must go').

"Do you feel like you've been backed into a corner?"

'This model comes in these four colours.2

"I see it's a f***ing good mattress but is it a good f***ing mattress?"

"Tell me about this fear of couches."

"I realize we had to liquidate some assets, but don't you think I'd be more productive if I had a desk?"

Interior design trends for parents....

"All in favor of destroying the throw pillow, raise your paw."

"This is a clever little shop. It makes you think it would be fun to own a lamp."

"Oh, wow! Is that stunning or what?" "Mid-century classic. Should be in a museum. Let's pee on it." "Totally."

Four Common Lampshade Mistakes and How To Avoid Them.

"Surprise!"

"The knights of the round accent table"

"This new chair has the smoothest 360 swivel action on the market!"

'This one's good if you like to toss and turn all night.'

'I had no idea Ikea had been around so long.'

"OK, last time: Cado teak lounge chair from Denmark – me. Doggy bed – you."

"Funny. My girlfriend said the same thing."

'Adam and Eve in the garden of Sweden'

'This chair ain't big enough for the both of us.'

Lay-Z-Family Recliner

Bird collecting furniture for it's home.

"I tell ya - if I ever stop moving, I'll die."

"Are you sure there wasn't a floor model?"

"If it's got my ass on it, it's befitting of royalty."

"John, wake up, I think the mattress has stopped breathing."

'I'd like to match this credenza.'

"Attention, everyone! I'd like to introduce the newest member of our family."

'Make up your mind, folks... King size or Queen size?'

Leda knew it was serious when the visited Ikea together.

'We've moved some fussy people, but she tops it!'