Furniture Salespeople Gifts

'Mine!'

'Darling...I'm afraid the sofa salesmen got the better of me.'

"Seats two comfortably. Three if your kinky."

'This one's good if you like to toss and turn all night.'

'I'd like to match this credenza.'

"Attention, everyone! I'd like to introduce the newest member of our family."

'Make up your mind, folks... King size or Queen size?'

Leda knew it was serious when the visited Ikea together.

Man and woman buying furniture.

'This was designed for people who have mastered easy chairs and want to attempt something more difficult.'

"Pretty cushy, am I right?"

"Yes, but I'll know it's a recliner."

"Well, do you want to buy this sofa or not? You've been on it for three days!"

"It's been unanimously decided that we don't like this table. Could you show us another model?"

Den Furniture

"I really like this one – but I'm afraid of getting hurt again."

'Oh, honey, what a lovely house... We'll place the couch here, the cupboard there and my psychiatrist right here!'

"It's also a flat-bed scanner."

"We've decided to give you a bonus, Rick. It's any change you find under the cushions."

"Sir, there are no waitresses or menus — this is Crate & Barrel."

"Hmmm. Not sure it will go with my wife."

'This one's got a mahogany finish, easy to assemble and comes with a magical kingdom as standard.'

Naked Furniture

'I hate to let you go, Walker, but these Ottoman prices have really come down.'

'We'll take it. Come along Rex.'

"I finally figured out what was causing my backache. You know that fancy modern office furniture I ordered a few weeks back? I just realized. I've been sitting on the wastebasket."

Furniture. I don't care what style. I just want a couch that matches her fur.

'OVERSLEPT? All four thousand of them???'

'And the 'World's Greatest Boss' mug comes with the desk.'

'Now THAT'S what I call a love seat!'

"Hillary Clinton is polling well here. Sales off pants suits are up."

Ikea for Hippies

"If you haven't got a TV, what do you point your furniture at?"

"I've been researching a little furniture company that I'd like to rearrange."

'Perhaps you'd like to try something a little firmer, madam?'