Furniture Salespeople Gifts

'Mine!'

'Darling...I'm afraid the sofa salesmen got the better of me.'

"Seats two comfortably. Three if your kinky."

'This one's good if you like to toss and turn all night.'

'I'd like to match this credenza.'

"Attention, everyone! I'd like to introduce the newest member of our family."

'Make up your mind, folks... King size or Queen size?'

Leda knew it was serious when the visited Ikea together.

'This was designed for people who have mastered easy chairs and want to attempt something more difficult.'

Man and woman buying furniture.

"Yes, but I'll know it's a recliner."

"Well, do you want to buy this sofa or not? You've been on it for three days!"

"It's been unanimously decided that we don't like this table. Could you show us another model?"

"I really like this one – but I'm afraid of getting hurt again."

Den Furniture

"It's also a flat-bed scanner."

"We've decided to give you a bonus, Rick. It's any change you find under the cushions."

'Oh, honey, what a lovely house... We'll place the couch here, the cupboard there and my psychiatrist right here!'

"Sir, there are no waitresses or menus — this is Crate & Barrel."

Naked Furniture

"Hmmm. Not sure it will go with my wife."

'This one's got a mahogany finish, easy to assemble and comes with a magical kingdom as standard.'

'We'll take it. Come along Rex.'

'I hate to let you go, Walker, but these Ottoman prices have really come down.'

"Hillary Clinton is polling well here. Sales off pants suits are up."

'OVERSLEPT? All four thousand of them???'

'Now THAT'S what I call a love seat!'

'And the 'World's Greatest Boss' mug comes with the desk.'

"If you haven't got a TV, what do you point your furniture at?"

"I finally figured out what was causing my backache. You know that fancy modern office furniture I ordered a few weeks back? I just realized. I've been sitting on the wastebasket."

"I've been researching a little furniture company that I'd like to rearrange."

Ikea for Hippies

'Perhaps you'd like to try something a little firmer, madam?'

Memory Foam Mattress.

"It's our best seller. Perfect for sitting idly by."