Furniture Salesman Pillows

'This is our latest in coffee table designs...'

Private Detective / Used Furniture Salesman

'No sir. It wasn't a recliner until you sat in it!'

"This is our trainee model."

So this is what you meant when you said it came with its own computer furniture.

'The Magic Cushion molds and attaches to you so that every chair is your chair.'

'This is great, we'll take it.'

'Dining table. Seats six people, with square legs.'

Mattress stores are everywhere

'This one's good if you like to toss and turn all night.'

'I'd like to match this credenza.'

"Are you sure there wasn't a floor model?"

"Attention, everyone! I'd like to introduce the newest member of our family."

'Make up your mind, folks... King size or Queen size?'

'This was designed for people who have mastered easy chairs and want to attempt something more difficult.'

"Pretty cushy, am I right?"

"It's been unanimously decided that we don't like this table. Could you show us another model?"

"Well, do you want to buy this sofa or not? You've been on it for three days!"

"I really like this one – but I'm afraid of getting hurt again."

"We've decided to give you a bonus, Rick. It's any change you find under the cushions."

"It's also a flat-bed scanner."

"Would you mind moving to your doggy bed? I'd like to sit in my chair. I know you can hear me. Your book is upside down."

Nick Offerman

Authentic Rinkelmier chair (Built 1723)

'Darling...I'm afraid the sofa salesmen got the better of me.'

Introverted Chair

Naked Furniture

'This one's got a mahogany finish, easy to assemble and comes with a magical kingdom as standard.'

"Larry made that chair from a pile of sticks."

Irritable dowel syndrome

'I hate to let you go, Walker, but these Ottoman prices have really come down.'

'Now THAT'S what I call a love seat!'

"He's so ostentatious about how un-ostentatious he is."

"I've up cycled your Chippendale!"

"I've been researching a little furniture company that I'd like to rearrange."