Mattress Lounger Gifts

"Funny. My girlfriend said the same thing."

'The history of Glue. It's impossible to put down.'

'Harold, when was the last time you cleaned the pool?!'

Blue Stockings

'She'll never look for me here.'

Sunbathing in the park

''Animal Farm' by George Orwell is definitely my favourite book...'

"I am dressed for the job I want."

"...Stop complaining if it wasn't for the mosquitoes you wouldn't get any exercise at all!"

'Do you have any books on controlling little monsters?'

"I'm not angry, but in the future I’d prefer it if you chewed up her Sue Graftons, not my P.G. Wodehouses."

"Oh joy. Looks like the turkey is almost done..."

'That strange smell, George.. is FRESH AIR!'

'Typical it's cloudy all week, the the weekend arrives and it's too sunny to do any gardening.'

"Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall, fell, and retained a brilliant attorney."

Typical...the weather is lousy all week...then on the weekend it's too sunny to work.

'...and talk about lazy!'

'Welcome home, Dear. Your dinner is in the popcorn bowl.'

"You can migrate without me - I'm staying here this year."

"It just seems to me, Howard, that you're missing the whole point of having a terrace in the city."

"How?"

Sick person curled up at home

'Where does cozy end and tepid begin?'

Man sleeps beside 'do not disturb' sign as an alligator sneaks up on him.

Unabridged Dictionary

'This may be the only time I'll ever bring you breakfast in bed - So wake up!'

The new fall content.

"Writing that book was a real strain."

"Don't you worry JB, everything is fine here."

"Medical science continues to provide hope in a troubled world. Now they say chocolate is good for you!"

"It's called 'muscle confusion'. First, I put on my workout clothes, then I confuse my muscles by not working out."

"I love the smell of unemployment in the morning."

"Time to spring-clean where I spent the entire winter."

"Are you walking the dog? We live on the third floor!"

'We've run out of one-man plays - why not make it up with the rest of the drama group?'