Leather Lounger Gifts

"Oooo!... Leather! I'd love to shed on that!!"

'Harold, when was the last time you cleaned the pool?!'

"Gimme a large cheeseburger, regular fries and a diet root beer!"

Two old superheroes on a park bench feeding the birds.

'She'll never look for me here.'

Sunbathing in the park

"...Stop complaining if it wasn't for the mosquitoes you wouldn't get any exercise at all!"

"Oh joy. Looks like the turkey is almost done..."

Typical...the weather is lousy all week...then on the weekend it's too sunny to work.

'Typical it's cloudy all week, the the weekend arrives and it's too sunny to do any gardening.'

"Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall, fell, and retained a brilliant attorney."

'Welcome home, Dear. Your dinner is in the popcorn bowl.'

'...and talk about lazy!'

"You can migrate without me - I'm staying here this year."

"Can't stop watching. That ribbon is amaaazing..."

Man sleeps beside 'do not disturb' sign as an alligator sneaks up on him.

Sick person curled up at home

'Where does cozy end and tepid begin?'

"I'd like an aisle seat, please."

'This may be the only time I'll ever bring you breakfast in bed - So wake up!'

"How?"

"Don't you worry JB, everything is fine here."

Gone to seed.

'I'm able to live the American dream by getting paid in Euros, running my business form an offshore tax haven and getting European style universal health care.'

"Medical science continues to provide hope in a troubled world. Now they say chocolate is good for you!"

'I'd say the couch is contouring a bit TOO much to their bodies.'

"It's called 'muscle confusion'. First, I put on my workout clothes, then I confuse my muscles by not working out."

"Time to spring-clean where I spent the entire winter."

'No idea. He's been there for as long as I can remember.'

"Are you walking the dog? We live on the third floor!"

Champagne and Oysters

"As a frequent flier, you'll be entitled to stay in our airport lounge for up to a week during delays."

'Here, you can have my fly trap.I already have one.'

"You have reached the samaritans. If you are a farmer press one, a pensioner press two, small business owner press three...."

"I'm afraid the jacuzzi is out of order madam"