Living Room Lounger Gifts

Daniel in the Lion's Den

"You have reached the samaritans. If you are a farmer press one, a pensioner press two, small business owner press three...."

"I like to sit here and look at all the things I don't have."

'She'll never look for me here.'

"This is the living room with my husband - who is a fixture and fitting - no no, just joking. Though, on the other hand. . ."

"Oh joy. Looks like the turkey is almost done..."

Sunbathing in the park

"I am dressed for the job I want."

"...Stop complaining if it wasn't for the mosquitoes you wouldn't get any exercise at all!"

Typical...the weather is lousy all week...then on the weekend it's too sunny to work.

'Typical it's cloudy all week, the the weekend arrives and it's too sunny to do any gardening.'

"Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall, fell, and retained a brilliant attorney."

"You can migrate without me - I'm staying here this year."

"Can't stop watching. That ribbon is amaaazing..."

'Where does cozy end and tepid begin?'

Sick person curled up at home

"How?"

Man sleeps beside 'do not disturb' sign as an alligator sneaks up on him.

'This may be the only time I'll ever bring you breakfast in bed - So wake up!'

"I'd like an aisle seat, please."

The new fall content.

"Don't you worry JB, everything is fine here."

Gone to seed.

"Medical science continues to provide hope in a troubled world. Now they say chocolate is good for you!"

'I'm able to live the American dream by getting paid in Euros, running my business form an offshore tax haven and getting European style universal health care.'

'I'd say the couch is contouring a bit TOO much to their bodies.'

'No idea. He's been there for as long as I can remember.'

Champagne and Oysters

"Time to spring-clean where I spent the entire winter."

"I love the smell of unemployment in the morning."

Cat Jealous of Woman Having a Lazy Day.

"As a frequent flier, you'll be entitled to stay in our airport lounge for up to a week during delays."

Rest distracted by moles.

Custer's last tan.

"Oooo!... Leather! I'd love to shed on that!!"