Indoor Lounger Gifts

"Time to spring-clean where I spent the entire winter."

Sunbathing in the park

'She'll never look for me here.'

"I am dressed for the job I want."

"...Stop complaining if it wasn't for the mosquitoes you wouldn't get any exercise at all!"

"Oh joy. Looks like the turkey is almost done..."

Typical...the weather is lousy all week...then on the weekend it's too sunny to work.

'Typical it's cloudy all week, the the weekend arrives and it's too sunny to do any gardening.'

"Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall, fell, and retained a brilliant attorney."

"You can migrate without me - I'm staying here this year."

"Can't stop watching. That ribbon is amaaazing..."

"You know what I wish? I wish there was a foundation that gave grants just to lie fallow for a year or so."

Sick person curled up at home

'Where does cozy end and tepid begin?'

Man sleeps beside 'do not disturb' sign as an alligator sneaks up on him.

'This may be the only time I'll ever bring you breakfast in bed - So wake up!'

"How?"

"I'd like an aisle seat, please."

"Don't you worry JB, everything is fine here."

"Medical science continues to provide hope in a troubled world. Now they say chocolate is good for you!"

'I'm able to live the American dream by getting paid in Euros, running my business form an offshore tax haven and getting European style universal health care.'

"I love the smell of unemployment in the morning."

'No idea. He's been there for as long as I can remember.'

Champagne and Oysters

'I'd say the couch is contouring a bit TOO much to their bodies.'

Carl receives the dreaded call to return to in person work. (man in pajama, wrapped in blanket and scruffy dropping his phone when he is told to return to in person work)

"As a frequent flier, you'll be entitled to stay in our airport lounge for up to a week during delays."

'Well played, sir.'

Rest distracted by moles.

"You have reached the samaritans. If you are a farmer press one, a pensioner press two, small business owner press three...."

Custer's last tan.

'Have a nice day, dear. . . no need to get up and make coffee.'

"I'm afraid the jacuzzi is out of order madam"

"Sleeping in?"

"Now bend forward to touch floor between feet- try to keep knees straight."