Mattress Lounger T-Shirts

"Funny. My girlfriend said the same thing."

'The history of Glue. It's impossible to put down.'

'Harold, when was the last time you cleaned the pool?!'

Blue Stockings

'She'll never look for me here.'

Sunbathing in the park

"I am dressed for the job I want."

"...Stop complaining if it wasn't for the mosquitoes you wouldn't get any exercise at all!"

"I'm not angry, but in the future I’d prefer it if you chewed up her Sue Graftons, not my P.G. Wodehouses."

'Do you have any books on controlling little monsters?'

"Oh joy. Looks like the turkey is almost done..."

'That strange smell, George.. is FRESH AIR!'

'Typical it's cloudy all week, the the weekend arrives and it's too sunny to do any gardening.'

Typical...the weather is lousy all week...then on the weekend it's too sunny to work.

"Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall, fell, and retained a brilliant attorney."

"You can migrate without me - I'm staying here this year."

'...and talk about lazy!'

'Welcome home, Dear. Your dinner is in the popcorn bowl.'

"It just seems to me, Howard, that you're missing the whole point of having a terrace in the city."

'Where does cozy end and tepid begin?'

"Writing that book was a real strain."

Unabridged Dictionary

Man sleeps beside 'do not disturb' sign as an alligator sneaks up on him.

Sick person curled up at home

'This may be the only time I'll ever bring you breakfast in bed - So wake up!'

"How?"

The new fall content.

"Don't you worry JB, everything is fine here."

"Medical science continues to provide hope in a troubled world. Now they say chocolate is good for you!"

"Are you walking the dog? We live on the third floor!"

"Time to spring-clean where I spent the entire winter."

"It's called 'muscle confusion'. First, I put on my workout clothes, then I confuse my muscles by not working out."

'We've run out of one-man plays - why not make it up with the rest of the drama group?'

"I love the smell of unemployment in the morning."

'Here, you can have my fly trap.I already have one.'