Morning Lounger T-Shirts

"I am dressed for the job I want."

"Sleeping in?"

"I love the smell of unemployment in the morning."

'I've decided to stay in bed till lunchtime to see if I feel like a teenager again.'

'The history of Glue. It's impossible to put down.'

'Harold, when was the last time you cleaned the pool?!'

"Gimme a large cheeseburger, regular fries and a diet root beer!"

Honey remember what I said about feeding the birds.

Blue Stockings

'She'll never look for me here.'

'Do you have any books on controlling little monsters?'

The Old Lady Bobbing-Around-In-The-Ocean Classic.

"Oh joy. Looks like the turkey is almost done..."

Lighthouse Hammock.

"Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall, fell, and retained a brilliant attorney."

'...and talk about lazy!'

'Welcome home, Dear. Your dinner is in the popcorn bowl.'

'I prefer to do absolutely nothing on holiday....otherwise the shock's too much when I get back.'

"I'm thinking this might e a good area to set up base camp."

"What am I doing? Just sitting here binge binging."

"Writing that book was a real strain."

The only creation God was truly proud of was the Sabbath

'Where does cozy end and tepid begin?'

Sick person curled up at home

Unabridged Dictionary

"You know what I wish? I wish there was a foundation that gave grants just to lie fallow for a year or so."

"Don't you worry JB, everything is fine here."

"Medical science continues to provide hope in a troubled world. Now they say chocolate is good for you!"

"Sorry Honey, I'll be about thirty years late for dinner tonight."

'We've run out of one-man plays - why not make it up with the rest of the drama group?'

"Are you walking the dog? We live on the third floor!"

'No idea. He's been there for as long as I can remember.'

"It's called 'muscle confusion'. First, I put on my workout clothes, then I confuse my muscles by not working out."

Weekend paper with an index to the supplements it contains.

"Time to spring-clean where I spent the entire winter."