Bed Lounger Gifts

'This may be the only time I'll ever bring you breakfast in bed - So wake up!'

"Funny. My girlfriend said the same thing."

'She'll never look for me here.'

Sunbathing in the park

"...Stop complaining if it wasn't for the mosquitoes you wouldn't get any exercise at all!"

"I'm not angry, but in the future I’d prefer it if you chewed up her Sue Graftons, not my P.G. Wodehouses."

"Oh joy. Looks like the turkey is almost done..."

'That strange smell, George.. is FRESH AIR!'

'Typical it's cloudy all week, the the weekend arrives and it's too sunny to do any gardening.'

Typical...the weather is lousy all week...then on the weekend it's too sunny to work.

"Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall, fell, and retained a brilliant attorney."

"You can migrate without me - I'm staying here this year."

"Isn't it about time to switch from your warm-weather chair to your cold-weather chair?"

Leaves falling from a roof garden.

"I'd like an aisle seat, please."

Sick person curled up at home

"How?"

Man sleeps beside 'do not disturb' sign as an alligator sneaks up on him.

'Where does cozy end and tepid begin?'

"Don't you worry JB, everything is fine here."

Gone to seed.

"Medical science continues to provide hope in a troubled world. Now they say chocolate is good for you!"

'I'm able to live the American dream by getting paid in Euros, running my business form an offshore tax haven and getting European style universal health care.'

"Time to spring-clean where I spent the entire winter."

Champagne and Oysters

'I'd say the couch is contouring a bit TOO much to their bodies.'

Cat Jealous of Woman Having a Lazy Day.

"As a frequent flier, you'll be entitled to stay in our airport lounge for up to a week during delays."

'Well played, sir.'

'Have a nice day, dear. . . no need to get up and make coffee.'

"You have reached the samaritans. If you are a farmer press one, a pensioner press two, small business owner press three...."

"Oooo!... Leather! I'd love to shed on that!!"

Custer's last tan.

"Heyyy. I wonder where scrappy is?"

A woman teaches a cat maths as a man eats chips and drinks beer with a dog.