Massage Therapist Gifts

"Was that the sensitive spot you were telling me about?"

'We do not do belly rubs, if that's what you are looking for.'

'I'm afraid there's not much I can do. You're an invertebrate.'

'I have to say I had a different impression of what Reiki is all about.'

'You're very tense today.'

Deep tissue massage.

'When are you going to learn to relax?'

'Now Mr Henshaw, let's see if we can't work some of that tension out of your neck.'

"I think you just found my funny bone."

"You're carrying a lot of pretension in your back."

'Doctor-patient confidentiality doesn't extend to massage therapists.'

'Try to relax.'

'You're very tense today.'

'This would make a great back massager.'

Sigmund Freud, Massage Therapist

"I take it that you've hurt yourself skiing."

'I always use lots of oil when I give a massage...oops!'

Client to lawyer: 'I'm suing my massage therapist for injuries sustained to my back. He rubbed me the wrong way.'

"I'm afraid the niceties of our underwater massage must remain a trade secret."

'If I was any more relaxed, I could host a NPR program.'

'I must say that was the best massage I've ever had!'

'Maybe a massage wasn't a good idea after all.'

Ultimately, the teachers union agreed to a lesser pay increase in exchange for a full-time massage therapist in the faculty lounge.

"So, is this your very first visit to a massage therapist?"

'My personal trainer, massage therapists, hair stylist and chef.'

A professional wrestlers prepares to

Spa: Pamper yourself.

'This won't hurt.'

"O.K., I'm ready—you can come in now."

"A little lower to the left. Ah, yes, that's it, right there."

University of Adversity.

"It was the most relaxing massage I've ever had."

"I feel a lot of tension here."

"You know, I really can't help you if you're going to be so shy!"

Free neck massages.