Massage Therapist Pillows

'We do not do belly rubs, if that's what you are looking for.'

'I'm afraid there's not much I can do. You're an invertebrate.'

'You're very tense today.'

Deep tissue massage.

"You're carrying a lot of pretension in your back."

'Now Mr Henshaw, let's see if we can't work some of that tension out of your neck.'

'When are you going to learn to relax?'

"I think you just found my funny bone."

'You're very tense today.'

'Doctor-patient confidentiality doesn't extend to massage therapists.'

'Try to relax.'

'This would make a great back massager.'

Sigmund Freud, Massage Therapist

"I take it that you've hurt yourself skiing."

"O.K., I'm ready—you can come in now."

A professional wrestlers prepares to

'Maybe a massage wasn't a good idea after all.'

'My personal trainer, massage therapists, hair stylist and chef.'

'This won't hurt.'

'I must say that was the best massage I've ever had!'

Client to lawyer: 'I'm suing my massage therapist for injuries sustained to my back. He rubbed me the wrong way.'

'I always use lots of oil when I give a massage...oops!'

"I'm afraid the niceties of our underwater massage must remain a trade secret."

'If I was any more relaxed, I could host a NPR program.'

Spa: Pamper yourself.

"So, is this your very first visit to a massage therapist?"

"I feel a lot of tension here."

"That feels good...now scratch a little to the left."

Free neck massages.

University of Adversity.

"A little lower to the left. Ah, yes, that's it, right there."

"It was the most relaxing massage I've ever had."

"You know, I really can't help you if you're going to be so shy!"

"They've sold out of massages, dear, but I've booked us a romantic couples' colonoscopy."

Planned service changes