Massage Gifts

"Was that the sensitive spot you were telling me about?"

"I found this great chiropractor!"

'You're very tense today.'

"I think you just found my funny bone."

'Now Mr Henshaw, let's see if we can't work some of that tension out of your neck.'

'This would make a great back massager.'

'Doctor-patient confidentiality doesn't extend to massage therapists.'

'Only way I could get him to come was to tell him it was massage therapy.'

Complimentary medicine clinic: 'I just love what you've done with your hair!'

Linda mad a killing during slow-moving commuter traffic.

"I've been controlling student behavior with a series of facial grimaces and contortions. Now I need a facial massage every week."

'This is the place I was telling you about.'

'This won't hurt.'

"I'm afraid the niceties of our underwater massage must remain a trade secret."

'If I was any more relaxed, I could host a NPR program.'

Massage parlour offering therapeutic, Swedish, and ego massages.

University of Adversity.

"It was the most relaxing massage I've ever had."

"I feel a lot of tension here."

"That feels good...now scratch a little to the left."

'This is the foot massage. Wait until I do your face, it feels amazing.'

"I sense some tightness in your wallet."

Couples Massage

'He claims that a one-minute massage before each shot has trimmed six strokes off his game.'

'I put it to you that my client did not assault you, but was in fact giving you a free demonstration of 'Indian head massage'.'

Future massage

'How long ago did you actually eat? I can feel something moving in there...'

Chiropractor

'Mom's Spa'

Massage? Phone Suzy written on hand towel

'Sorry I'm late - I stopped off for a beer and a back rub.'

"I'm glad you're enjoying the massage feature on your new chair, but can you lower the setting a bit?"

"My chiropractor is great. Honestly, he got all the knots out."

Health Club Warning

'I use a combination of shiatsu and hypnosis...'