Massage Gifts

"I found this great chiropractor!"

'You're very tense today.'

"I think you just found my funny bone."

'Now Mr Henshaw, let's see if we can't work some of that tension out of your neck.'

'Doctor-patient confidentiality doesn't extend to massage therapists.'

'This would make a great back massager.'

'Only way I could get him to come was to tell him it was massage therapy.'

Complimentary medicine clinic: 'I just love what you've done with your hair!'

'This is the place I was telling you about.'

"I've been controlling student behavior with a series of facial grimaces and contortions. Now I need a facial massage every week."

Massage parlour offering therapeutic, Swedish, and ego massages.

'If I was any more relaxed, I could host a NPR program.'

'This won't hurt.'

"I'm afraid the niceties of our underwater massage must remain a trade secret."

"It was the most relaxing massage I've ever had."

"I feel a lot of tension here."

"That feels good...now scratch a little to the left."

University of Adversity.

"My chiropractor is great. Honestly, he got all the knots out."

'How long ago did you actually eat? I can feel something moving in there...'

"I'm glad you're enjoying the massage feature on your new chair, but can you lower the setting a bit?"

'Sorry I'm late - I stopped off for a beer and a back rub.'

Massage? Phone Suzy written on hand towel

'Mom's Spa'

'I put it to you that my client did not assault you, but was in fact giving you a free demonstration of 'Indian head massage'.'

Future massage

Couples Massage

"I sense some tightness in your wallet."

'This is the foot massage. Wait until I do your face, it feels amazing.'

Chiropractor

The New Trend: Extreme Massage

I fired my masseuse today. She rubbed me me up the wrong way.

'The royal masseuse is late again.'

'I use a combination of shiatsu and hypnosis...'

Health Club Warning