Massage Therapy Gifts

Sigmund Freud, Massage Therapist

"O.K., I'm ready—you can come in now."

Free neck massages.

'This is the place I was telling you about.'

"You know, I really can't help you if you're going to be so shy!"

"Honey, this Pierre. He's from Masseurs San Forntieres."

Rare Exceptions: The Straw that became a massage therapist dedicated to treating chronic back pain in camels...

"Judging by your tan I can see you play golf too."

"Jane's a physio, she massages the patients. Paul's from finance, he massages the accounts."

"Sorry, I double-booked. This wouldn't happen if I had a computer - but they insist we do everything by hand."

"I know you're just trying to be helpful, but why don't you let me decide where my acupunture needles should go?"

"My goodness, your back is really knotted up this morning, isn't it?"

"First visit to a massage therapist?"

Spa

"I really miss being in a committed relationship, Randy." "Which part do you miss most?" "Having someone disagree with you over what you're going to eat, or over what TV shows you're going to watch? Or do you miss having to account for how you spend your time? Or having to explain why you bought yourself something awesome without first getting permission?" "Mostly I miss the back rubs. They don't ask you to wash the dishes first at massage parlors."

"Oh, yeah, that's the spot... just stay there... hurt so good... a little harder—yes! You are my hero, no kidding, I freaking love y-oooh..."

Woman pouring perfume into her bath.

"Another one so relaxed, she couldn't walk out of here."

Couples Massage: "Did you remember the body oil?"

'Nobody minds if I take the ocean view suite with complimentary champagne and Sven, the in-room Swedish masseur, do they?'

'When are you going to learn to relax?'

'Mona Lisa, would it make you happy if I gave you a foot massage every night?'

"It was the most relaxing massage I've ever had."

'Mom's Spa'

Planned service changes

"If she's a write off can you let me know the scrap value?"

Luigi's Career Change From Pizza Shop Owner to Masseuse Goes Smoothly...

'I also offer massage therapy.'

'I have to admit I was skeptical at first, but their hooves are magical, Magical, I say!'

"You're incredibly tight."

'We do not do belly rubs, if that's what you are looking for.'

Deep tissue massage.

'Slices Mandy! Just slices!'

Couples Massage

"Shoulder work ahead"