Massage Enthusiasts Gifts

Health Club Warning

Spa

"Oh, yeah, that's the spot... just stay there... hurt so good... a little harder—yes! You are my hero, no kidding, I freaking love y-oooh..."

"I really miss being in a committed relationship, Randy." "Which part do you miss most?" "Having someone disagree with you over what you're going to eat, or over what TV shows you're going to watch? Or do you miss having to account for how you spend your time? Or having to explain why you bought yourself something awesome without first getting permission?" "Mostly I miss the back rubs. They don't ask you to wash the dishes first at massage parlors."

'Wrinkles can't breathe in mud.'

Couples Massage: "Did you remember the body oil?"

The Cat Spa

Hot Tub Frosty

This Year's Spa

"It was the most relaxing massage I've ever had."

'Mona Lisa, would it make you happy if I gave you a foot massage every night?'

'Mom's Spa'

"Hey - I'd write a book, too, if I could find the time."

What're you doing today, Darlene? Power relaxing. 9 to 10:15 I'm reading the paper. 10:20 to 11:30 I'm getting my nails done while reading Catch 22 for my books club. 11:45 to 1, I'm eating lunch, catching up on calls, paying bills then kicking back on the couch from 1 to 1:15. The afternoon is sheer bliss. Yoga from 2-3, Pilates from 3-4, massage from 4-5, meditation 5-6. Now move. Please now! You're interfering with my relaxing. How the type-A spend their Sundays. 10:02, bathroom break. Everyo

'I also offer massage therapy.'

Spa Dog

Luigi's Career Change From Pizza Shop Owner to Masseuse Goes Smoothly...

"You're incredibly tight."

'I have to admit I was skeptical at first, but their hooves are magical, Magical, I say!'

'We do not do belly rubs, if that's what you are looking for.'

"Fit the reality to our statistics!"

Dave's diaper-changing incentive chart.

'Slices Mandy! Just slices!'

'Why is the jacuzzi full of grapes?'

Couples Massage

Flo discovered that one of the perks of cancer was that even reluctant friends were willing to give her foot massages,

Odd Spas

"I still say you're spoiling that dog!"

"Shoulder work ahead"

"Well, that's that, Henry. Let's go over to the Four Seasons and towel off."

"You're carrying a lot of pretension in your back."

Massage parlour offering therapeutic, Swedish, and ego massages.

"That feels good...now scratch a little to the left."

'But boss, this will keep my muscles from getting fatiqued.'

Foot Massage