Number Massage Enthusiast Gifts

"Fit the reality to our statistics!"

Spa

The Life of Pi

"I really miss being in a committed relationship, Randy." "Which part do you miss most?" "Having someone disagree with you over what you're going to eat, or over what TV shows you're going to watch? Or do you miss having to account for how you spend your time? Or having to explain why you bought yourself something awesome without first getting permission?" "Mostly I miss the back rubs. They don't ask you to wash the dishes first at massage parlors."

'Wrinkles can't breathe in mud.'

Couples Massage: "Did you remember the body oil?"

"Six out of ten statisticians prefer to be in the majority."

The Cat Spa

Math Teacher

Bingo! Credit card number!! The real reason raccoons like garbage.

But under a different accounting convention ...

This Year's Spa

"It was the most relaxing massage I've ever had."

'Mona Lisa, would it make you happy if I gave you a foot massage every night?'

1. 0. 5. 6. He'd be nothing without her. (Published originally on June 11, 2008.)

Warning: Math Ahead!

Boss. The boss treats me like a number, and not a prime one.

Spa Dog

Luigi's Career Change From Pizza Shop Owner to Masseuse Goes Smoothly...

Reign Man

2 + 2 = 4. 2 x 2 = 4. Oh, I get it! It's a Zen thing!

'I have to admit I was skeptical at first, but their hooves are magical, Magical, I say!'

"Hey - I'd write a book, too, if I could find the time."

"You're incredibly tight."

'I also offer massage therapy.'

'We do not do belly rubs, if that's what you are looking for.'

Dave's diaper-changing incentive chart.

'Slices Mandy! Just slices!'

Couples Massage

'Why is the jacuzzi full of grapes?'

WHOA! Another 6! Erm...what's that mean?

"People mistakenly think that we accountants are all boring number crunchers, but the latest figures show that 54% of the 23% of people who responded to a survey were 45% in favour of us being 12% more interesting than average!"

Odd Spas

"Well, that's that, Henry. Let's go over to the Four Seasons and towel off."

Flo discovered that one of the perks of cancer was that even reluctant friends were willing to give her foot massages,