Massage Enthusiast Gifts

"What do you mean a 'surcharge'? It says $5 here!"

"So, is this your very first visit to a massage therapist?"

"I'm glad you're enjoying the massage feature on your new chair, but can you lower the setting a bit?"

Couples Massage

To compensate for the stress of news broadcasts, Tina's TV came with a built-in massage system.

A masseur follows you everywhere? Yes, its for instant massaging!

"Don't panic, you're safe: he's my next appointment..."

"Basically, the job is hands on training."

Remote control vibrating armchair showdown.

'Free back rub - it's a massage in a bottle.'

"You're holding a lot of homophobia in your lower back."

I really miss being in a committed relationship, Randy. Which part do you miss most? Having someone disagree with you over what you're going to eat, or over what tv shows you're going to watch? Or do you miss having to account for how you spend your time? Or having to explain why you bought yourself something awesome without first getting permission? Mostly I miss the back rubs. They don't ask you to wash the dishes first at massage parlors.

You've got it set on "pulsating massage," Bob.

"Just a belly rub today, Kitten."

"Note to self: No More Massages."

"I like having my head scratched but what I really love is deep tissue massage."

"Let's beach ourselves and get a massage."

Spa

"I really miss being in a committed relationship, Randy." "Which part do you miss most?" "Having someone disagree with you over what you're going to eat, or over what TV shows you're going to watch? Or do you miss having to account for how you spend your time? Or having to explain why you bought yourself something awesome without first getting permission?" "Mostly I miss the back rubs. They don't ask you to wash the dishes first at massage parlors."

"Oh, yeah, that's the spot... just stay there... hurt so good... a little harder—yes! You are my hero, no kidding, I freaking love y-oooh..."

'Wrinkles can't breathe in mud.'

Couples Massage: "Did you remember the body oil?"

The Cat Spa

This Year's Spa

"It was the most relaxing massage I've ever had."

'Mona Lisa, would it make you happy if I gave you a foot massage every night?'

'Mom's Spa'

'I have to admit I was skeptical at first, but their hooves are magical, Magical, I say!'

"Hey - I'd write a book, too, if I could find the time."

"You're incredibly tight."

'I also offer massage therapy.'

Spa Dog

Luigi's Career Change From Pizza Shop Owner to Masseuse Goes Smoothly...

What're you doing today, Darlene? Power relaxing. 9 to 10:15 I'm reading the paper. 10:20 to 11:30 I'm getting my nails done while reading Catch 22 for my books club. 11:45 to 1, I'm eating lunch, catching up on calls, paying bills then kicking back on the couch from 1 to 1:15. The afternoon is sheer bliss. Yoga from 2-3, Pilates from 3-4, massage from 4-5, meditation 5-6. Now move. Please now! You're interfering with my relaxing. How the type-A spend their Sundays. 10:02, bathroom break. Everyo

'We do not do belly rubs, if that's what you are looking for.'