Massage Fan Gifts

"Was that the sensitive spot you were telling me about?"

Massage Mushroom Cloud

"I always forget what an expert I am in curling."

Hot Pie Therapy

'A sitcom has to be quirky or formulaic. There is no middle way.'

"I won't be in today. I've decided to live off the land."

Pre-Television Man Caves

DIY marriage counseling.

"Has it occurred to you that you keep getting beaten up because that's your true purpose in life?"

"You've got to learn to love yourself. Start by 'Friending' yourself on Facebook."

"If she's a write off can you let me know the scrap value?"

"Now, let’s talk about your attachment issues."

Relationship Rating: His and Hers

Hairstyles

'Does the gym have a motorized version of this cycle?'

'Have you been working out?'

'Slices Mandy! Just slices!'

'We need to try to regress you beyond the last seven seconds...'

"You dumb clod! Do you realize you're almost two minutes late?"

Gah! My Timotei is dead. - 'But what have we here? Tresemme with orange, mango, and passionfruit.' - 'Mmmm... passionfruit...' - '*Glug* *Glug* *Glug*' -

"Yoga has helped me appreciate the healing power of donuts."

"I'm sorry, sir, but we're not MAGICIANS!"

"Have you tried sitting in a box?"

'I keep thinking I'm being watched...'

"How do you feel about turning over?"

Dentist as psychoanalyst with tooth patient on couch

"With the redundancy and the divorce I'm struggling to remain Mr. Happy."

'The therapy did help your husband find his inner child, unfortunately his inner child is called Dwayne.'

Therapy for the cow dependent

'I have an expense account, but it's a joke.'

"I wouldn't worry about it, in your case, the superiority complex just goes with this territory."

'Dr Freud, this isn't comfortable. Why don't you sit on that chair?' 'That's not a bad idea.'

Curling Rocks!

'I don't know what it is, doc. I think I'm having a nervous breakdown.'

'I keep having these flashbacks.'