Pain Relief Fan Gifts

I feel your pain. (Bus stops on man's foot).

First aid in mountains

Hot Pie Therapy

"I won't be in today. I've decided to live off the land."

"It's the only way I can justify buying so many shoes."

Pre-Television Man Caves

"Has it occurred to you that you keep getting beaten up because that's your true purpose in life?"

DIY marriage counseling.

"You've got to learn to love yourself. Start by 'Friending' yourself on Facebook."

'Cock-a-doodle-doo!' 'Cut back on the chicken soup.'

"Where can I find some peace of mind?"

'They're bound to hurt at first.'

'Does the gym have a motorized version of this cycle?'

"Now, let’s talk about your attachment issues."

Relationship Rating: His and Hers

A Mime Artist pretending to feed the pigeons.

'Slices Mandy! Just slices!'

Dog being carried off by ducks.

"This next song is also about air-conditioning."

"You dumb clod! Do you realize you're almost two minutes late?"

'We need to try to regress you beyond the last seven seconds...'

"I've just overheard the doctor say the farmer has the flu! We all know what that means: chicken soup!"

"I'm sorry, sir, but we're not MAGICIANS!"

"Have you tried sitting in a box?"

'I keep thinking I'm being watched...'

Therapy for the cow dependent

"How do you feel about turning over?"

Dentist as psychoanalyst with tooth patient on couch

"With the redundancy and the divorce I'm struggling to remain Mr. Happy."

'The therapy did help your husband find his inner child, unfortunately his inner child is called Dwayne.'

'I have an expense account, but it's a joke.'

'Dr Freud, this isn't comfortable. Why don't you sit on that chair?' 'That's not a bad idea.'

"Let's just get through the first aisle...then we'll discuss your impulse buying."

Men and Women's changing rooms

'I keep having these flashbacks.'