Pain Relief Fan Gifts

I feel your pain. (Bus stops on man's foot).

First aid in mountains

"I won't be in today. I've decided to live off the land."

Pre-Television Man Caves

'Cock-a-doodle-doo!' 'Cut back on the chicken soup.'

DIY marriage counseling.

'Does the gym have a motorized version of this cycle?'

'They're bound to hurt at first.'

"Where can I find some peace of mind?"

Relationship Rating: His and Hers

A Mime Artist pretending to feed the pigeons.

"Now, let’s talk about your attachment issues."

'Slices Mandy! Just slices!'

Dog being carried off by ducks.

"This next song is also about air-conditioning."

"Have you tried sitting in a box?"

'We need to try to regress you beyond the last seven seconds...'

"You dumb clod! Do you realize you're almost two minutes late?"

"I'm sorry, sir, but we're not MAGICIANS!"

"I've just overheard the doctor say the farmer has the flu! We all know what that means: chicken soup!"

Therapy for the cow dependent

'I have an expense account, but it's a joke.'

Dentist as psychoanalyst with tooth patient on couch

"How do you feel about turning over?"

"With the redundancy and the divorce I'm struggling to remain Mr. Happy."

'The therapy did help your husband find his inner child, unfortunately his inner child is called Dwayne.'

"Let's just get through the first aisle...then we'll discuss your impulse buying."

'Dr Freud, this isn't comfortable. Why don't you sit on that chair?' 'That's not a bad idea.'

Men and Women's changing rooms

'I keep having these flashbacks.'

Businessman needs a cuddle.