Acupuncture Fan Gifts

Porcupine Acupuncture

"Has it occurred to you that you keep getting beaten up because that's your true purpose in life?"

'Cock-a-doodle-doo!' 'Cut back on the chicken soup.'

DIY marriage counseling.

"You've got to learn to love yourself. Start by 'Friending' yourself on Facebook."

"Now, let’s talk about your attachment issues."

Relationship Rating: His and Hers

'This wasn't quite what I had in mind when you suggested 'alternative medicine''

"You dumb clod! Do you realize you're almost two minutes late?"

'I keep thinking I'm being watched...'

"Have you tried sitting in a box?"

"Krazy straw"

'We need to try to regress you beyond the last seven seconds...'

"I'm sorry, sir, but we're not MAGICIANS!"

"How do you feel about turning over?"

Dentist as psychoanalyst with tooth patient on couch

2050 A. D: Cloning is quite common place.

"With the redundancy and the divorce I'm struggling to remain Mr. Happy."

'The therapy did help your husband find his inner child, unfortunately his inner child is called Dwayne.'

Therapy for the cow dependent

'I have an expense account, but it's a joke.'

'I've got a good idea! Let's take everything out and start from scratch.'

'I don't know what it is, doc. I think I'm having a nervous breakdown.'

"I wouldn't worry about it, in your case, the superiority complex just goes with this territory."

'The part I like best about sex is when I light a cigarette and say next.'

Ariel prepares for her big date.

'I keep having these flashbacks.'

'Dr Freud, this isn't comfortable. Why don't you sit on that chair?' 'That's not a bad idea.'

Short Term Memory Loss Support Group: 'Good evening. You're probably all wondering why you just walked into this room.'

'I've always been so busy, I've never taken the time to stop and smell one.'

Soccer Ball - "I'm sick and tired of being kicked around all the time."

'You worry too much. Next time something goes wrong, try blaming someone else.'

'...And when I asked my parents if I was adopted, they said 'not yet.''

"Try taking baby steps."

"Too hard?"